Drunk tank is back (and you’re free to exceed your limit)

Bristol is reintroducing the ‘Alcohol Recovery Centre’ to help us sober up when nights out get ugly.

It was initially tested for five nights in December and January, caring for 46 people altogether at a secret location.  Authorities say it’s supposed to take the pressure off hospitals to deal with trivial cases of drunkenness.

Where my money went on Valentine’s Day

But Bristol’s new drunk tank is going to solve all the problems that keep us from having too much.

What’re you afraid of when you stop drinking beyond your limit?  You’ll give yourself alcohol poisoning, you’ll do something wildly embarrassing and dangerous, you won’t get home safely.

Chug away, we’ll keep you safe

This new service will give you a comfy bed to sleep it off and paramedics to get you sober and keep you hydrated and safe from drunken shenanigans.  They’ll get you home in the morning when you’re completely safe and sober, and even call your friends for you.

And you’d be taken to the facility by the police or security guards, who don’t arrest you or even record your name.

You’ll never have to get home like this again

ARC manager Pete Brown says, “We’re trying to decriminalise drunkenness.”  But it also means that we don’t need to worry about drinking safely – it’ll easily be solved by someone else.

Though we definitely need it right now, with everyone drinking way past their limits as #Neknominate spreads faster than herpes.