Geordie Shore’s Gaz loses Bunker virginity

Last night Geordie Shore’s Gary ‘Gaz’ Beadle paid his first visit to Bunker in search of his Valentine. Unfortunately for Gaz, the night of romance he had planned seemed to fall short of the mark…

Despite the whopping 137 people who had clicked ‘attending’ on the Facebook event, on arrival just before midnight the dancefloor was a ghost-town. Although Gaz’s adoring fans soon started to arrive in dribs and drabs, the reality TV star himself was nowhere to be seen. One helpful bouncer was quick to inform Gaz’s would-be Valentines that the celeb was keeping a low profile in the club’s exclusive VIP section, adding that he was a ‘miserable sod’ and advising us to throw our belongings at him.

Gaz from Geordie Shore: ‘a miserable sod’.

Given Gaz’s high profile status, the entrance to the swanky VIP area was left surprisingly unsupervised. It soon became apparent, however, that the entire Bunker security force had been called out to form a protective ring around the Newcastle superstar, clutching at each other’s fluorescent jackets to ensure that the three wannabe Geordie Shore cast members (short-back-and-sides gelled to within an inch of its life? Check. Fake tan? Check. Disturbingly low-cut vest top? Check.), who had come all the way from the depths of the Gloucestershire countryside to meet their hero, didn’t impinge on Gaz’s safety.

Alongside these uber-lads there were a few shamefaced Bristol students hovering politely around Gaz’s VIP booth. In the event of bumping into someone they knew, everyone was keen to emphasise that they were only popping in for a quick (definitely ironic) photo with Gaz before heading to a more savoury venue. Those who patiently waited for Gaz to finish glugging from a rather miniature bottle of Grey Goose were soon rewarded by being thrust into the circle of surly bodyguards before being treated to a photo with the equally surly celeb. For a mere £3, a privileged few can now say that they have touched the Northern demi-god (judging by the amount of fake tan/STIs he was likely to be wearing, it was probably a good idea to wash your hands afterwards).

Forced smiles all round: artificial happiness

Sources tell us that Gaz was heading to an after-party at a student house on Belgrave Road – let’s hope he had more luck finding his sweetheart there.