UBU is watching you

The UBU is radically innovative in their representation of students; they insult, degrade and infantilise those they represent, wasting our money on projects that treat us as children. But what do we get out of this moronic deal? We get nothing but hatred and spineless spite from these financially incompetent, socially inept and morally repugnant sycophants. They should be treated with the same contempt.

Faceless, rule-making bureaucrat

The Bristol Student Union has had an obsession with censorship over the past few years. Last year, they passed a motion entitled “Meat Free Mondays”, banning meat from being sold or consumed on Student Union grounds. For reasons unbeknownst to me, they must have felt that either we ate too much meat or the cows and chickens were having a hard time. Either way, they were attempting to check our personal life choices, and forced the sickly puritanical five a day culture on Students. Despite my disdain for the phrase “political correctness gone mad”, it seems to befit this situation wonderfully. UBU has taken it upon itself embody a rather aggressive and bloated nanny from Victorian England, who checks whether the children are drinking their medicine, doing their reading or for that matter, eating their green vegetables.

I’ll eat what I want, thank you very much

Carrying on with the theme of a horrifically obese nanny, they recently granted themselves the power to remove “offensive material” on UBU property. Evidently free speech is not a great issue with these people, but it is the sign of union riddled with paranoia and hatred for opposition. Luckily for them, the Epigram rarely questions their motives, probably from fear of having reduced funding, and therefore praises their censorship of song and sign alike as “brave” and “progressive” moves. In Student Elections, they banned “slates”, in essence groups of people supporting a particular candidate. As if they could not stifle democratic principles any further, they have recently condemned candidates with specific blocks of ethnic support, and will presumably change the system in due course to favour candidates not of the traditionally ‘white male’ orientation.

Totalitarianism

The recent banning of Blurred Lines highlighted their disdain for popular choice and basic liberty. Not only did it treat us as though we were toddlers needing a terrific telling off, but it was deeply misogynistic. It assumed that women had to be wrapped up in a protective blanket, and not face reality. It insulted men, as it assumed that all men were sexually deranged perverts, with even the smell of a woman propelling them to prey on them. They claimed the song was “deeply offensive to women”; well I am deeply offended at the idea that all men are rapists. Not only did it insult us, but it removed any independence of creativity for Bristol DJs, an institution we as a University should be proud of. A friend from the Burst Radio show, ‘Eat More Ham’ claimed “I know the song is divisive, but it is popular, and it should have been our choice to make”.

I’m not a rapist

The recent attack on “rich whites” by the ironically positioned Community Officer, Ellie Williams in the AMM saw a new disgusting low for the UBU, highlighting a deeply underhand and illiberal strand within the organisation. We are not the EDL; we are not children; so give us the courtesy of respect or expect scorn.

If you are not grinding your teeth by now, perhaps this will persuade you; they should not be trusted with your cash. They have a poor financial record; in 2007 they were bailed out by the University due to bankruptcy. They spend the money we pay them on projects that demean, defame and denigrate our status as Bristol Students. I feel that they should be treated with the utmost disrespect and derision, and I hope you are with me. They have reached a low surpassed by few Student Unions, where they actively belittle those they represent; reduce us to the status of children and waste our money on projects that are unpopular and illiberal. They do this for a good CV, not out of public generosity. Who the hell do they think they are?