Choked by student debt; Bristol Uni stars in porno

• Tyndall Avenue the scene of a naughty encounter between ‘Johnny Rockard’ and ‘Kiki’. 
• Same guy who made a porn video at UWE – who have now called in the police.
• Johnny Rockard says porn is ‘feminist’ – and the video ‘a protest against student debt’. 

Wallace and Gromit, Sherlock, Being Human and Skins: Bristol locations have always attracted the elite of the British TV industry. Now, Tyndall Avenue, hub of student activity and centre for learning, can be added to the long list of areas in Bristol immortalised in film. This time – it’s a porno. 

And the BAFTA goes to…

Originally thought by a Tab source to be footage of an old man offering students money for sex along Tyndall Avenue, the film actually documents a romantic encounter between local thesp ‘Johnny Rockard’ and ‘Kiki’, a ‘horny Anglo-Asian student’.

St Michael’s Hill: now part of Bristol’s premier locations tour

The short film treats viewers to glimpses of famous landmarks, including the gym, Tyndall’s Park Road, and the aptly-named ASS library.

UoB construction site – it’s like being on a film set!

Tree-headed, fag-breath on Woodland Road. Pure beauty

Like Mr Rockard, everybody has seen the talent on Woodland Road. And for many hormonally imbalanced, acne-ridden, cum-sock using teenagers, Mr Rockard will undeniably serve as an inspiration. It really is as easy as Mr Rockard demonstrates. Just begin by filming the girl of your choice and, shortly after, she will be performing oral sex in an area that looks rather similar to the Royal Fort Gardens.

Oh. Choking on a Richmond sausage, the ultimate expression of female sexuality

Mr Rockard, a Bristol resident who’s been in the sex biz for a staggering 40 years, told The Tab: “Historically lots of porn performers have come from Bristol. There’s lots of talent, and it’s very accessible in terms of transport routes.

“We filmed that back in July. Kiki isn’t a student at Bristol, and the sex isn’t filmed on campus. It’s all smoke and mirrors.”

After the backlash against his UWE porn video, Johnny claims people are ‘failing to notice the sub-plot, about how students are left with enormous debt’. Yes, that’s right, Johnny says he’s making a ‘social protest’ – through porn.

Johnny also thinks that porn is ‘feminist’. ‘I know a lot of women who do porn because it’s a way of kicking back’.

Without a doubt, Mr Rockard is one of many local business people to benefit from the entrepreneurial spirit of Bristol.

Perhaps it’s time for the University to start selling itself as a location to more upmarket productions: The Tab suggests a porn film with a budget of more than £2.50 as a starting point.

And if you’re interested in Kiki’s politics (notably that of J.S Mill and a more concise definition of third wave feminism), follow this link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1pc6Ed2w9Q