I don’t mean to get all high and mighty as a History student, but having reviewed Bristol University’s 2014/15 undergraduate prospectus, it would appear that some of our courses are just not worth studying. Some claim that University is all about ‘discovering yourself’, ‘experiencing new things’, and making ‘friends for life’ – whilst this may be true, surely there’s little to be gained from accumulating a student debt of over £27,000 for a 3-year course in Film and Television Studies. Here’s a list of degrees that you may be better off avoiding…

BA Film and Television

A Film and TV student in an intense revision session

According to the Bristol University website, this degree will give you the chance to “explore the history of film and television, consider theoretical perspectives and engage in practice-based activities”.  Evidently, it would appear as if your £9000 would be spent on a wide range of activities including: watching films, watching television, watching some more films, and then if you’re lucky, engaging in the activity of watching some more television. To add a pretense of academic depth, you may get to browse some colourful books detailing the theory behind all this. Essentially, if you want to spend 3 years watching re-runs in comfy chairs, this is the course for you. Apparently among communication skills, leadership, and IT skills, employers also find watching-film-with-a-bucket-of-popcorn skills very attractive these days.

BSc Animal Behaviour and Welfare Science

Perhaps these students could help catch the Bristol croc

Does your goldfish seem depressed? Is your pet Guinea pig having trouble making friends? Does your cat have confidence issues exacerbated by a superficial society where appearance has become more important than moral substance? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then why not study Animal Behaviour and Welfare Science? I’ll tell you exactly why not – because this degree is just a very poor version of Veterinary Science and serves no practical purpose. What’s the point in being a certified Clinical Animal Behaviourist? There can’t be much use in giving counselling to a border collie. Have you seen ‘the Dog Whisperer’? It’s staged. Probably.

BA Ancient History

Didn’t make that offer for regular History? I thought not. I mean Ancient History is alright. It’s average. It’s very much Gareth Barry playing for Everton. To be honest, you’d be better off reapplying for a regular History degree than spend your life living in the shadow of, let’s face it, better people.

BA Drama

Bristol’s most famous Drama student…dropout Jack Harries

Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe and Marlon Brando. None of them have Drama degrees and yet remain some of the most iconic figures in cinema. Is this degree really necessary?Surely if you want to pursue a career on stage or on screen, you’d be better off financially and practically to go to a performing arts college. Even if you want to be a film critic, you’d be better off studying English.

BSc Childhood Studies

Are you for real? 7 different ways to make shapes out of play dough.  A chance to specialize in noughts and crosses, hopscotch, skipping, or running around with pretend weapons fighting each other. Childhood studies is just ridiculous. Do you want to work with children? Why not study something that is actually possible to teach to children? I used to love play time as much as the next person, but I think we should all grow up a bit. There is a challenging world out there – it’s surely time to put the crayons away and take life a bit more seriously.

Disagree with Sam? Want to defend your subject? Email [email protected]