The Problem

Hi Jack,

This is incredibly embarrassing, but I’m 22 and still a virgin. I’m not going to lie – it’s really getting me down. My friends seem to have no trouble getting girls back, but it just never seems to happen for me. I feel like I’ve kind of ‘missed out’ on the University experience because I imagined it being very different to what’s actually happened for me.

Our reader doesn’t want to end up like this guy…

I see myself as outgoing and fairly good-looking, but I think my problem is I just don’t know what to say to girls. I’d say I’m a popular guy, but not ‘in that way’. I wonder whether maybe I’m just boring? 

Before people start, I’ve been to Lounge loads of times, have talked to girls, but it’s always the same. I’ve got with a few on the dance floor, but nothing’s ever gone further than that.

Apart from this one girl in halls who was really, really unfortunate, nobody’s ever been really keen on me sexually. And it’s starting to get really depressing. 

What is wrong with me? What can I do to make myself more attractive?

The Advice

I’ll be honest with you mate – I don’t know you, so it’s kinda difficult to say what exactly you’re doing wrong.

First of all – it’s not THAT weird to be 22 and a virgin. Yeah, OK, perhaps it’s slightly ‘unusual’, but it’s not as if you’re 30 and have never got with a girl. I know it’s a bit of a cliche, but there are more things to life than sex. I bet you’re concentrating on this one problem and ignoring all the things you’ve got going for you.  Hate to sound like your granddad but leaving with a good degree is the most important thing.

Have you wondered that maybe you’re letting this issue affecting how people perceive you? Perhaps girls are turned off because they can tell you’re a fucking misery – because, let me tell you, that is NOT attractive mate. If you forget about it and just chill the fuck out, then I bet girls will be a lot more interested.

The other thing: clubs are generally NOT a good place to meet the opposite sex. Most girls do not go clubbing thinking ‘yeah I’m gonna shag some guy tonight!!’. They actually find getting hit on by drunk guys really bloody annoying. Maybe think about meeting girls in other places where it’s actually possible to have a conversation without being drowned out by ‘Teenage Dirtbag’ being played for the ninth time in a night.

If you’re that desperate, then I’ve got to question why you turned down this girl who was supposedly ‘really, really unfortunate’? I can’t imagine she was THAT bad…I mean, presumably she didn’t look like ET? If your virginity is SUCH a burden, then why didn’t you just get it out of the way? Maybe you’ve got to lower your standards at first.

Regards,

Jack.

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