Desaine disciplined: UK’s horniest student bollocked by bigwigs

Uni put third year student on the naughty step for running her mouth off about slap-’n’-tickle

Joyless uni officials have summoned Britain’s horniest student Elina Desaine in for a good telling-off.

The self-proclaimed ‘Slutvian’ will be subject to a major disciplinary from the University of Exeter after scooping a £500 prize in a ‘Britain’s horniest student’ contest run by an online student dating site.

She could face one of:

  • permanent exclusion
  • community service
  • a fine of up to £500 – ironically the same amount as the prize money for winning the contest
  • a written declaration stating that she’ll have to steer clear of the computer rooms

Elina’s pals have claimed that her initial entry into the online competition was a joke, but the third year Computer Scientist hasn’t commented since she was crowned.

Now, as Desaine is hauled before a disciplinary panel, the founder of Shag at Uni – the dating site behind the competition – has leapt to her defence.

In a blog post entitled “Elina: The UK’s Most Honest Student”, Tom Thurlow said he finds it “unsettling that a university in 2013 appears to be mortified over a student admitting to sleeping around. Have the university chiefs actually ever wandered out onto campus and seen what’s going on, or are they stuck in their plush offices all day??

“We consistently make sure we promote the use of contraception to our members.

“Our Horniest Student Elina even admitted to us that she always makes her sexual partners wear a condom. So any nasty user remarks stating that her partners should get an STI check or that she’s the ‘Poster Child for STDs’ are ignorant, unnecessary and highly inaccurate. Students are well informed and very capable at making smart choices.

“Like Elina, tens of thousands of students in the UK are also sexually promiscuous and why the hell shouldn’t they be? Whether they’re exploring themselves, whether they’re having fun or whether they’re drunk – as long as they protect themselves, sex is a natural animal instinct and it’s a commodity of theirs that they’re free to use how and when they wish.”

“Exploring themselves”: Tom Thurlow, founder of Shag at Uni, defended Desaine’s actions

Desaine has received the first non-academic disciplinary that involves the university’s reputation – a fate that even the SSB shaggers Blowmeo and Juliet managed to dodge in January.

It’s a remarkable change of fortune for Desaine who at the time described the title as “her proudest achievement to date.”

“I entered the competition after my friend saw it advertised by Shag at Uni online,” she said. “He told me that I was perfect for it as I have a huge reputation on campus for letting my hair down and having fun. Everyone should act like me!”

Will ‘Marine Guy’ and ‘Penny C Guy’ be next on the uni’s hitlist?

Quoted from Shag at Uni’s Facebook page, here is her winning entry for the competition:

At the time, Thurlow said “As soon as I saw Elina’s entry I knew we had a particularly wild girl on our hands. I love the fact she uses her position in the computer science club to have sex in the computer room.

The advertisement for the UK’s Horniest Student competition.

“She even told me how the computer science club is perfect because it’s full of guys! After meeting with Elina personally I am 100% confident I have found the horniest student in the country.”

Whilst at Exeter, Elina claims to have slept with sixteen different men – the older the better.

What Elina won by being named the UK’s Horniest Student – at least she’ll definitely get to keep the booze

“At Exeter we have this thing called ‘sharking,’ she says, “where older students prey on first year students and coax them into bed. I was sharked on three times in my first year and loved it!

“Older guys are much more experienced in the bedroom and definitely have more confidence. However, now that I’m a third year I’m definitely trying my hand at sharking and it’s a lot of fun!”

Are Exeter Uni so keen to sink Captain Elina’s ship?

Desaine moved to the UK from Latvia aged six. She has also nicknamed her university ‘Sexeter’.

To ensure she can have sex whenever she wants whilst at Exeter, Desaine told Shag at Uni that she currently has five or six sexual partners.

Elina bears and shares all for

When the story broke, a uni spokesperson told the Mail Online that “our main concern at this time is for the student and the impact this may have on her over the long term.”

It now appears they’ve decided the long-term impact is harmless enough to drag her in for a stern word or two.