No Uni Today

Here are the Tab’s top tips for enjoying the strike

Uni staff are on strike (again…) today over a big fat pay row.  And since we don’t reckon it’ll be solved anytime soon, here are The Tab’s 5 things you can do when uni’s a ghost-town.

1. Give in to your BED Bunker hangover

Kick back and enjoy the post-booze bliss from one last squalid, mental, ten-jaegers-in-a-row, try-to-take-the-bouncer-home club night at Bunker.  After all, there’ll be no 9am to contend with while nursing a hangover bigger than your overdraft.  If you’re still out on the walk of shame past the picketers, kudos.

2. Swot up in the ASS

A day off is just what you need to get in some early-bird revision.  Or if you’re not a total square, you’ll have a front row seat to watch all the uni revelry unfold.  With hundreds of bored students descending on the ASS and all the librarians taking the day off, this might just be the comeback of the Spotted page.

3. Join ranks with your profs and take up some ridiculous cause

“Low pay is a symbol of the patriarchy!  Bloodthirsty uni chiefs will be castrating hamsters next!”  Don’t forget your foghorn and eggs for pelting.

4. Or alternatively, stage a counter protest

HOW DARE your lazy lecturers take the day off?!  You’ll sue them all!

5. Take the lectures instead

Your fellow students couldn’t possibly survive with a missed lecture, so you’d better save the day and do the lecture for them.  Bonus points if you turn it into a rant about some personal political agenda.  Gold star if you do the rant in Sanskrit.