11 things you’ll only understand if you’re a Hiatt Bakerite

Call Hiatt Baker your home? This one’s for you.

1. The pain of fire alarms at 3am. And 4am. And 5am. And discovering you spent half an hour in the freezing cold all because some drunken idiot put a pizza in the oven without removing the plastic.


2. How creepy the SCRs are. No I don’t want to come to your room and listen to music with you, but thanks for the offer of a peanut butter sandwich.

3.What a babe Jane Norton is.

4. How awkward Gordon the Warden’s speeches are at formals. God knows what he dressed up as for Halloween, but it scared us shitless nonetheless. (Seeing him work up a sweat on the rowing machine in tight lycra at the HB gym was pretty scary too).

5. Wearing beanies and snapbacks to dinner

6. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as the pride in stealing mini pots of Nutella, Marmite and Flora from breakfast. People even start bringing tupperware boxes to house their Muesli and water bottles full of milk.

7.How good stairwells are for pre-drinks. Suddenly chairs and glasses become a thing of the past.

8. The satisfaction of only having to walk 10 metres to the bus stop. And the injustice of previous years having to trek all the way up the hill, accidentally doing the splits in the rain and snow more times than you care to remember, looking up to find the whole of F block laughing at you.

9. The annoyance of locking yourself out…After having a shower… at 5 past the hour…

10. Having your alarm clock replaced by a drill. It’s hard to imagine getting used to builders awkwardly looking through your window, but somehow we did it. You never get used to trying to work through the racket though.

11.The constant presence of a shopping trolley somewhere in your block. And the endless hours of trolley wars that ensue. They never end well.