Meet The BNOTs
They may be Big Names On Campus but this lot are NOT after your vote!
The hunt for Bristol’s ultimate BNOC has begun. In a couple of weeks from now, one will be victorious whilst the rest will simply be.
However, before the contest begins, The Tab feels it is only appropriate to take a moment to honour those who have failed to make it this far. These are the BNOCs who, upon learning of their nomination, withdrew in haste.
These people do not revel in the limelight. They are selfless BNOC warriors, put here on campus to inspire us all to achieve greater things. It is their burden to be the life and soul of parties, to live-tweet all the details of student life, to wear extravagant clothing.
All we can do is bow our heads and give thanks. These people are not the BNOCs we need right now, but they are truly the BNOCs we deserve.
Nominated By: Mr Gurns, a frequent Tab commenter and fellow BNOC
They Said: “Mr Josh Gabbatiss is a BNOC in every area of uni life, from drawing naked people to hosting euphoric trance parties”
He Said: “Actually can I just be withdrawn from the running?”
Nominated By: Tab commenter the “Archbigot of Canterbury”
They Said: “If Kyle Mulholland isn’t the BNOC then I don’t want to live on this planet any more.”
He Said: “I should probably like to withdraw from that since I’m not really in the business of bigging myself up.”
(Sir) Henry Streeten
Nominated By: Several people. Truly a man of the masses.
They Said: “Vote for Henry Streeten if bnoc stands for big nipples on campus”
He Said: “I’d rather not be a Tab endorsed BNOC let alone a self-professed one. Horrendous”
Nominated By: Himself if you believe the Tab comments section. Which we don’t.
They Said: “Are you allowed to nominate yourself?”
He Said: “Whilst it is true that I lost my virginity before my dad, and that I once ran a marathon because it was “on my way home”, unfortunately I am going to have to regretfully decline.”
Nominated By: Holly Jones aka @hollium
They Said: “Nominating Ellie Williams (VP Community-elect) for BNOT award. #topbants”
She Said: “I love that I was nominated. I think I will be a bore and withdraw, I live in fear of Tab commenters!”
Nominated By: Holly Jones again
They Said: “I will be so surprised if @MattyBacon12 is not nominated”
He Said: “I’m not well known enough outside of UH to stand much of a chance”
Nominated By: B. Johnson (no confirmation on whether it was actually Boris)
They Said: “Has to be Josh Leslie for me. Everyone seems to know who he is, I’ve met him a few times and he seems like a top bloke”
He Said: “Very flattered to have been nominated. However please could I not be put forward as a candidate. Thanks.”
There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the humble heroes of 2013. Obviously to pit these BNOCs against each other in a public vote would be unthinkable; they are all winners. Don’t let that stop you from debating their respective merits in the comments though!