Gap Yah Disastah

The Tab hears from students who remember their year out for all the wrong reasons.

Many return from their Gap Year with stories of amazing charity work, extreme sporting antics and a collection of once-in-a-lifetime photos. For this lot it was, shall we say, different…

Iguapoo Falls

Stanley was returning from a great excursion at the Falls. As he was happily ambling around town, he felt the sudden need to pass wind.

Forgetting the timeless travelling advice to be wary of letting one slip, he cocked his leg and let the fart creep out. As soon as he had done so, he realised there was a problem. Something unnervingly warm and sticky was trickling down his left leg.

Shit Flicker! (Cartoon: Katie Bend)

In an attempt to rid himself of the descending mess, Stan kicked his leg out. Unfortunately a friend caught him just as he was spattering faeces onto a shop window.

Needless to say, the episode hasn’t been forgotten and the nickname ‘Shit Flicker’ has embarrassingly become permanent.

Confusion In Paradise

The Thai people are a punderful race

John was having a great night on Koh Samui until one evening his travelling companion decided to call it a night early.

They went back to their room but John, still buzzing from Thailand’s Red Bull equivalent, couldn’t get to sleep.

As he lay there, he felt the unstoppable horn come over him. He checked his wallet and found 80 baht (Approx. £1.60) and decided to see what that could get him.He approached a few ‘ladies of the night’ and eventually struck up a deal to part with his last cash in return for fellatio.

After the deed, he wondered if he’d been conned by an infamous ladyboy. A drunken interrogation revealed he had in fact got cosy with a chap. In his anguish he demanded his money back and the bloke kindly returned his cash with interest.

John still believes the moral victory is his: “I got a cracking blowy and made 40p – winner, winner”.

An ‘Older’ Lady In La Paz

When Gabe got to the club on his last night in La Paz, he saw a phenomenally fit woman at the bar. He desperately wanted to shag a native so, fuelled by Columbia’s finest export, he approached her.

He triumphantly recalls; “Before I even knew it I was back in her apartment going at it like a trooper.” After sex, they sat on her balcony and got talking.

She told him she was 35, which he thought was quite cool, and then slipped into conversation her grandson had been born that day hence the reason she was celebrating. He thought that less cool.

His mates teased him for weeks. Gabe didn’t think much more of it until his dick and balls got really itchy. He went to a clinic and got the worst news of his gap year.

Gabe is one of the few our age who can say: “I contracted chlamydia from a granny.”

A Close Encounter At The Full Moon

Paula was loving the infamous Full Moon Party until she drank her friend’s bucket and realised it had rohypnol in it. James (the intended victim) carried her with difficulty up to a cliff top; picking up a few scrapes and bruises along the way.

They waited until dawn when the effects of the drug had worn off. In their excitement at having escaped a date-raping by an opportunistic Thai bloke, they leapt from the cliff into the sea.

Within minutes, a fishing boat had sped out to them and its crew had pulled them aboard. Evidently they had been bleeding worse from the cuts than they had thought, as the fishermen had seen a menacing dorsal fin circling them.

Narrowly avoiding an encounter like this.

All stories are 100% genuine though names have been changed.

Think you can top any of these? Send stories (in complete confidence!) to [email protected].