The Tab celebrates the ugly side of Bristol Uni.
Ah, Bristol. There’s no place like it.
That view down Whiteladies as you come off the downs, the wind in your hair, the sun in your eyes, the rolling green hills of Somerset in the distance – it’s quite a sight.
Don’t forget Isambard’s majestic suspension bridge, best seen at sunset, with lilting west country voices (or public school braying, whichever) ringing in your ears, your vision only slightly addled by sweet and frosty White Lion cider.
Or how about the quaint, peaceful streets of Clifton Village with its friendly, reassuringly middle class inhabitants?
I could go on. But I won’t, because for every scenic view in Bristol there’s an equally impressive eyesore blighting the landscape. We’ve had Fit Brizzle, now it’s time for Shit Brizzle!
Hiatt Baker Construction Site
As anyone whose spoken to a HB resident recently will know, the building work is driving Hiatt Baker students insane. The whole thing is a complete eyesore, with students looking out onto such majestic views as this.
A deluded University official once described the ASS helpfully as ‘Barbican-esque’ – what RUBBISH!
Whatever sadistic architect designed this building of pain has thousands of sunlight-starved students cursing them daily. The 1970s monster is the bane of every student’s existence.
I’m no architect myself but let me provide a few pointers to anyone considering becoming one.
1) Windows, if you choose to include them, should be large, in order to let maximum light in. If you choose not to include them: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? (See: Social Sciences Complex).
The ASS’s characteristic ‘portholes’ will not suffice. Furthermore, why these portholes face downwards, rather than perpendicular to the ground like normal windows, is beyond me.
It means that even if you are up on the top floor you are looking down at a wall and have to crane your neck to see if its sunny.
2) Ceilings should be high, so as to create airiness, not low, so as to create oppressive stuffiness.
3) With the exception of the Barbican building and possibly Erno Goldfinger’s iconic Trellick Tower, Brutalist architecture and brown concrete is just not a good option.
Man, I hate that place. Moving on.
The Drama Department
Sorry Drama, you’ve been getting a lot of shit lately, but you have to admit, your department looks like a squat.
There are plants growing out of the brickwork, the ‘i’ is missing from ‘University of Bristol’ and the place looks deserted and inaccessible. God knows what goes on in there.
The Dental School
Although not quite as bad as the others, there’s something about the windowless expanse of brickwork, the apologetic sign, and the near-forgotten location (right down near Broadmead) that gives the Dentistry a rather sad and forlorn appearance.