Men’s Style: The Ten Commandments (Part One)

In the first of a two-part feature Nathan runs us through some essential fashion rules.

I woke up this morning and two thoughts entered my mind.

The first one was “Oh shit, I have just over a week to write an essay on the History of South East Asia!” The second one was, “Sod the essay, I’d rather shamelessly plug my friends blog instead”.

The blog I’m going to shamelessly plug this morning belongs to that of one Rachel Hosie, who I am thrilled to announce is my neighbour this year and who is the author of a charming little blog entitled ‘Handbags and Cupcakes’, (which, by coincidence, are both things I share an unbridled fascination with).

On top of her dangerously mouth-watering posts about baking, Rachel also delves into the murky waters of student life and, in the interest of today’s post, fashion.

One post which particularly seized my attention was one titled ‘My ultimate style and beauty no-no’s for girls’, in which Rachel rightly conducted a metaphorical spanking on those countless females who commit the most heinous of fashion crimes, from obscenely revealing shorts to having such greasy hair that the only stylish term that could be appropriately applied would be ‘Snape-Chic’.

On reading her purposeful, though completely justified and charming, rant against those who violate all that is good and pure, I was inspired to write a similar post on the faux pas I cannot stand to see in men’s clothing.

So here goes. Clad in a cable-knit turtleneck and some tweed trousers, I’m trekking down the slopes of Mount Sinai and the tablets I bear are inscribed with the following:

1. Thou Shalt Not Wear Drop-Crotch Jeans

The whole purpose of clothes in the first place is to create an appealing silhouette and flatter your figure, so why would you wear jeans that make you look like you’ve emptied the contents of your bowels into the base of your trousers.

2. Black and Brown Doth Make a Frown

This is mainly concerned with suiting and other formal wear: Black shoes with black trousers. Brown shoes with navy or grey trousers. Capiche? Moving on.

3. Thou Shalt Not Wear Garish Branding

Walking around looking like Hollister mannequin? Plastered with the word ‘Superdry’? You’re a human being, not Lewis Hamilton’s Formula One Car. Burn it all.

4. Thou Shalt Only Dress for the Gym When Going to the Gym

Joggers are not for going to lectures. Joggers are for…do I really have to spell it out?

5. Thou Shalt Not Wear a Gilet

No need to elaborate on this, simply read my previous article entitled Why I will Never Buy a Gilet.

Expect the second half of my Ten Commandments soon. To read my friend Rachel’s pet style hates regarding women, head to her blog now.