Confessions: Bristol v UWE

Who do you think has the most shameful secret?


Up and down the country, students have been sharing their most disgusting secrets on Facebook Confessions pages. We’ve already reported on the Bristol University page, which as of 18:30 today had 1,549 likes, but so far UWE’s Confessions page is putting that to shame with a whopping 2,745 likes.

Given that UWE’s page is nearly twice as popular, does this mean that their Confessions are twice as good? Has UWE finally found something it can beat Bristol at?

The Tab has decided that there is only one way to settle the matter. Each day we will post two similarly-themed Confessions; one from Bristol, one from UWE. It is up to you which one is crowned the champion of champions in this grudge match to end all grudge matches.

Voting will close at midday the following day and winners will be announced on our Twitter account (@TheTabBristol). Be sure to follow us for regular score updates.

Today’s theme: You Are What You Eat

This Curry Gives You The Shits

Warning: May Contain Faeces
Picture: Sebilden

Back in 2009 as a Fresher, this new guy moved into my flat. He was a bit geeky, wore glasses, hiking boots everyday and all he could make conversation about was tractors and car insurance. Despite being a bit of a wet blanket he seemed nice enough… but then slowly I realised he was a massive douchebag.

One night, with encouragement from my flatmates, I thought it right to shit in his prized korma paste. Being a dish he regularly cooked, it only took a few days before he used the pungent mixture to marinate some chicken before cooking it up in a pan, serving and eating it in front of the whole flat and next door’s flat.Unfortunately the shit-eater never realised but i still enjoyed a quiet satisfaction.

Roast With The Most

Naturally Occurring Dildos
Picture: Paukrus

Once I banged myself with a carrot and put it back in the food cupboard in our student kitchen. Next day, roast dinner was served with roast potatoes, carrots and broccoli.

What more can be said, luckily no one said the carrots tasted fishy. I think I may have given them all AIDS.

Crappy Curry or Vaginal Veg? Cast your vote below and check back tomorrow for the next match-up!