Finally! If your uni had a Tinder profile, this is exactly what it would look like
We’ve even given them a little bio
Imagine a world where you didn’t have to choose your uni based on UCAS points, A-Level results or cheap accommodation. A world where you don’t have to look at a stuffy old website filled with stock kids playing hockey and actually *studying* in the library. Instead, you could go through each dating app-style profile, feeling your way through good signs, beige flags, and ULTIMATE icks. You’ve just entered the Tinder Zone.
Sadly, this isn’t actually a reality, and you can’t just chuck a big like at any uni that takes your fancy. But, we have some good news for you.
Tinder has just announced its new Tinder Uni feature; an in-app mode which allows you to match with other students at your uni or nearby universities. Simply use your university email to sign up for Tinder Uni within the Tinder app and you’ll get verified. As soon as you do, you can find dates, mates, soulmates, tour guides, business partners and literally anyone else under the sun at your uni.
Click here to get access to the exclusive Tinder Uni & connect with your uni crush!
Thing is, now we’re wondering what each uni would look like as a Tinder profile. Would Cambridge be able to pull successfully? Could Edinburgh ever beat those theatre kid allegations? What if Lancaster found a warm sausage roll life partner?! We have to know.
So, thanks to scientific* evidence, here’s exactly what your uni’s Tinder profile would look like:
All profiles are advertisements and are not actual profiles.
Bristol
Bristol wants someone to get a stick-and-poke of a heart (comprised entirely out of pink lemonade elf bars) on their upper thigh with them. The playlist they have linked to their profile indicates they can probably be found in a corner, crying along to Lana Del Rey. But only Born to Die – because they have TASTE.
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Liverpool
Obvs, it’s still a year away, but Liverpool is *really* looking for someone to secure some Eurovision tickets ASAP. An ideal night out for this uni would be walking around a cheesy club screaming Funkytown at the top of their lungs. Then, they want to eat their body weight in fried chicken before crashing on the sofa with all their clothes and makeup on. Feel the same? Drop Liverpool a message, hun x
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Newcastle
Newcastle’s profile would, without a doubt, have “egg-chasing” and a rugby emoji somewhere in their bio. They’re quirky and fashion-conscious, and they want to find someone who also wears a puffer jacket 24/7, even in the summer. Yes – they like to pay for espresso martinis with daddy’s credit card, but what of it!
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Birmingham
Birmingham may champion the Fab N Fresh SU – but it’s two things this uni is certainly not after a night out. They want their ideal match to just forget about the library and come charity shopping with them.
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Manchester
Manchester wants to blow their student loan on New Zealand wines with that special someone. Alternatively, do any fellow activists want to throw some soup over a painting?
Also – is there anyone out there who wants to get matching bee tattoos?
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Exeter
Exeter has their second-hand shop listed in their bio – and you’d BETTER buy a pair of resin earrings if you want to be in with a chance of a second date. This uni wouldn’t kiss a tory… but if they’re six foot, play rugby and/or wear a signet ring, they could make an exception.
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Nottingham
Look, Nottingham might be a bit rough around the edges, but they’ve got a lot going for them* (*a trust fund and a predicted third). Yes, they have an elf bar “addiction” it’s totally not a problem. They can quit whenever they want. Take them vintage shopping and they’ll tell you all about what it’s like to grow up in London.
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Oxford
Oxford will *not* be dating anyone at Brookes, thank you very much. There’s far too much bad blood there. To be honest, they’re really just looking for someone to take them to that amazing LGBTQIA+ bar and buy all their drinks.
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Brookes
Brookes doesn’t want you to call them a polytechnic, pls. Oxford – we’re looking at you.
They love a bit of karaoke at the local pub – but if you’re only in it for the craft beers, forget about it!
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York
If you think an ideal night looks like dancing to YMCA in Flares, stick a ring on York’s finger right now. They have “covered in ducks because apparently that matters” in their bio, as well as: “Loads of people think I’m beautiful but some of my exes say I’m really cold – who knows which version of me you’ll get!”
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Edinburgh
Edinburgh is that really gorgeous theatre kid who just wants to be taken to a comedy show and bought some draught lager. This uni is a massive foodie and seriously in need of a personal photographer. Apply within.
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Warwick
If you’re also a main character who likes to drown your sorrows in ice coffees, message Warwick now!! If you’re from the Business School, they’re definitely open to dating you. Just don’t go on about investments and your five-year plan, please.
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Glasgow
Much less irritating than their cousin, Edinburgh. Wants to know if you’re ever up for a pint after lectures. Or five minutes into lectures. Or instead of lectures. Hit them up x
Cambridge
If you’re into getting dressed up in cap-and-gown to go to the local pub – you’re simply not allowed to tell anyone you’re dating Cambridge. This uni wants to know all about your freakiest boarding school stories… and they might just let you buy them two-for-one cocktails at the Quayside.
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Lancaster
If you’d queue upwards of 30 minutes for a warm sausage roll, you’re basically a bit of Lancaster. If your name is York, just know this uni is defo not interested in an enemies-to-lovers arc. Soz!
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*Disclaimer: Not at all scientific, just opinion. Baseless, baseless opinion.
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