Every problem you’ll encounter living in your second year Bristol house
Those hills though
You’ve left Badock or Wills and found yourself in Clifton if you’re posh, Redland if you’re boring and Stokes Croft if you’re alright. Here’s every problem you’ll encounter living in your second year Bristol house:
Walking home after a night out to your house at the top/bottom of a hill and feeling like you’re making a voyage to Middle earth
It’s easier to get find a seat in the ASS library during exam time than it is to find a place in Bristol without hills. Walking to lectures? First climb this hill. Want to go to Cabot? Not before you climb up this hill. On a night out? This hill will sober you up. There’s nothing worse than walking with a potential hook-up back home and having to wait a good 30 minutes to catch your breath back before you can even try and make conversion.
Finding patches of damp growing on the ceiling or creeping up the walls of your house
It’s always raining in Bristol. Always. So naturally your clothes, shoes, backpacks, bucket hats and windbreakers are never properly dry meaning damp is always present around the house. If you think you don’t have any you just haven’t found it yet.
Realising you no longer have the novelty of the number 16 free bus pass
The smell of other people’s vomit and the awkwardness of making small talk with people you only spoke to in Freshers’ Week was really a small price to pay considering you weren’t having to pay for a taxi home, but now you do.
Having a variety of wildlife nesting in your basement flat on Hampton Road
Mice, snails, slugs, maybe even a few grass snakes seem to crawl their way into your kitchen which is quickly becoming it’s very own ecosystem.
Having a basement flat in Redland with no natural lighting
Perfect for hosting house parties before you head off to Lakota but sometimes you’d just like to know what the weather’s like outside without having to open your front door.
The reality that if you live in Stokes Croft you’re probably living next to a squat
At first, you just think they’re really grimy and edgy just like you. You’re even taking style tips from them, maybe share a few drinks, but it’s not until later in the year when the police ask you about them when you realise they’re not hipsters.
Having to set off early for uni if you live in Stokes Croft
“Yeah let’s live in Stokes Croft,” you think. What’s the harm? Living so far out means that you’ll rarely make it into uni, but that’s ok. If you’re living in Stokes Croft you probably study an arts subject where most your lectures are recorded. You’re turning into a hermit but it’s ok because your neighbours are really cool.
Having to deal with the flashing police cars parked on Gloucester road on Friday nights
The continuous flashing blue siren lights may seem like a great addition to pre-drinks on a Friday, but the reality is if you’ve had a heavy one at Pam Pams on Thursday night it doesn’t exactly help your throbbing head.
Living in Clifton means you’re far away from uni, and all the clubs and supermarkets that aren’t a Waitrose or a Spoons
None of that matters because you’re probably close to the social hub of Bristol uni – the SU.
Wasting money buying all your shopping from the Hampton Road Costcutter
You’re not being lazy, the big Sainsbury’s is just too far.
You’ll never be allowed to have a house party in Clifton without getting a noise complaint
Your neighbours will be a family of four whose beloved children: Sebastian and Harriet, are in bed every night at 9 o’clock sharp.
Living above a shop or takeaway on Park street
Having to deal with drunk people buying chicken underneath you at 3am whilst your trying to study wasn’t exactly planned for your revision schedule.
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