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Remembering Luna in Solihull: The most tragic, but best hometown club in the UK

Who knew listening to ‘Low’ seven times is so much fun?

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If you live in Solihull your choices for a night out aren't exactly huge. We all got so excited when Walkabout took over Après, and even more excited when Revolution came along. But let's face it – all Solihull nights out end up in Luna.

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We moan about how rubbish it is, how it's the only club we really have, always promise to never go again, but we're not kidding anyone – we're there most Saturdays.

A quick "Luna Tuna?" in the group chat and everyone is game.

Pre-drinks will more likely than not be in Masons or Yates. You head straight down to Luna after, wondering how many times the bouncers will ask you questions about the ID that's definitely you, or consider not letting you in at all because you made the rookie error of wearing trainers.

Shaking, you hand your ID to the security. I swear they get nicer every time! So kind, so chatty! Then up the stairs you go, which if you've had a few in Masons before hand, isn't the easiest task. You pay your £5 (ridiculous imo) and trot past the Reflex room. When you glance into that room, you briefly see a group of young girls all dancing around the pole and a group of middle aged men watching them – WKD blues in hand. Ahhhh, home.

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You're in. Without a doubt it's straight to the balcony to assess the situation. The dance floor is empty, it always is. What did you expect? Okay, it's time for Jägerbombs. They're the only thing ever on offer so you most likely end up buying three and sipping on them.

Down the stairs you get to the dance floor. For real though – who designed Luna? Why are there so many stairs? By the time you've got into the main bit you're bloody exhausted. At the bottom of the stairs you're greeted by that group of boys from school. Why are they always in Luna? Can I not have a night out without bumping into everyone from school? Brilliant. Got to avoid them all night.

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On the dance floor there's probably some weird circus act and you're not really sure why they're there, they just always are. Women on stilts? Sure. A bloke with a bongo? Definitely.

Oh lovely, the photographer. £5 for your group pic in a keyring? Bargain.

Why do we love the music here? It's literally like a school disco but the best, and most drunk one ever. Flo-Rida and T-Pain's 'Low' will play about seven times. Then cue the dry ice and smoke. Wonderful, you just choked into your triple Jägerbomb.

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Even if you're not a smoker – you'll end up in the smoking area at some point. I mean, staring at wall hangings of the phases of the moon and dancing to 2008 hits can get pretty hot and tiring. Out there is everyone you know. Your neighbour, a girl from work and the bloke that served you in Spoons earlier that day. Man, I love Solihull.

Back inside and you head upstairs. Fall up a few of the steps, grab another Jägerbomb from the upstairs bar and into Reflex. If you're lucky, the group of young girls will have vacated the pole. You'll spend about ten minutes upstairs, use the toilets up there because they're so much nicer, then head back downstairs.

It's 2am, Kid Cudi 'Day'n'Nite' is playing, you're smashed, life is great.

From somewhere you've got a WKD blue. There's only two times in life when WKD blue is acceptable: Year 9 house parties and Luna.

When the night does come to an end it's straight to Kings for some chips and curry sauce. There's no other way to end a Luna night than devouring a tray of chips in the bus stop outside Nationwide whilst you ponder on how your life got here and how another Saturday night has ended like this.

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So, Luna is the deadest, most tragic night out to ever exist. But we bloody love it. I think the fact it's so tragic is what makes it so good? It's shit, but it's our Luna, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

You'll wake up to multiple "what the hell happened last night" and "why did I get with that guy from secondary school!" texts in the group chat, before deciding to do it all again next week.

Luna Thursday anyone?