How to survive a year in Lyme Regis House
The dos and don’ts of Bournemouth Uni’s most underrated accommodation
You bagged yourself a year in Lyme, you’re two seconds away from Asda, Firestation and town. Well done. Here’s our guide to how to make the most of it.
Locate your nearest fire alarm box
Those things will save your life (quite literally). Just a quick heads up- they’re opposite the lifts on all the even numbered floors. When the fire alarm goes off, go there and it’ll tell you the exact floor, flat and even room that the fire is coming from. A much quicker method for finding out if you actually need to wait outside or not.
Spam all the iPads in the common room with selfies
Just like when you used to go into the Apple Shop purely to take photos on every single item, it’s perfectly acceptable.
Take all your selfies (that aren’t on the iPads) in the lifts or under the extractor fan in the kitchen
Sounds crazy, but once you try it you’ll know what I mean. That light under the fan is meant to aid cooking at night right? Wrong. It’s specially designed to light up your selfies like never before. If that fails, try the lifts. Very flattering.
Visit the 11th floor
Yes, you did read that right, there is an 11th floor. Just take the lift up to the 10th and then stairs up another floor. Magical.
Decorate your flat at every possible occasion
Halloween? Decorate. Christmas? Decorate. Easter? Decorate. Flat mate’s birthday? Decorate. This is especially to those who live at the back of Lyme. All the other flats can see into your flat. You best win the war of best decorated.
Go to Tesco in your PJs
Nobody is going to see me anyway you’ll think as you pass that boy in your seminar, the fit one on the football team, that girl you know from home and every person that lives on your floor.
Go to Tesco without shoes
That may sound like something you would never even think of doing anyway, but there will be multiple times you will consider it. Word of warning though, the Tesco security guard will go crazy at you. If your day at uni wasn’t enough, you’re now being lectured on why it’s dangerous to wear socks in a shop. Trust me, I speak from experience.
Overcrowd the lifts
Freshers’ Week 2015 saw me and twelve other people stuck in an 8 person lift for 2 hours. Sweaty. Security came to ‘help’ us and all we asked for was snacks and a drink. He returned with a grape. A SINGULAR GRAPE. He found it hilarious, we did not.
Flood your shower
Despite how shocking the shower curtains are, please try your best to keep all the water within the shower. If it starts spilling out that’s it- whole room flooded. We all know that no students ever use mops so that’s it, just going to have to put up with a flood.
Go to flat parties at any floor lower than three
These people are irrelevant. My advice is stick to any floor from four upwards, they’re the people you want in your life. If you’re floor one, two or three – venture upwards because nobody is coming down to you.
Turn the heater on it the kitchen / lounge area
I don’t know what it is about them, but they stink. Your whole flat will smell like gone off milk in a matter of minutes. Lyme is boiling anyway, you’ll never need it.
Never, and I mean NEVER fall asleep on the sofa
Uni is hard and we nap a lot I know, but honestly your neck will never recover. The back pain is indescribable after any time spent on those rock solid things. If I’m being honest with you, you’re better off on the floor.