UoB students reveal Selly’s worst neighbours in lockdown

You can take the student out of Fab, but you can’t take the Fab out of the student

With the only avenues for escape being trips to Aldi, the library (if you can get a ticket) and Selly Park, UoB students have no choice but to adjust to life stuck inside their poorly built, yet overpriced, student homes.

Lockdown also means students are really getting to know the Selly neighbourhood, for better or for worse.

From igniting infernos to throwing nappies on roofs (yes, nappies), UoB students blow the whistle on some of the most challenging and difficult neighbours in Selly.

They spend every weekend partying until 3am

Unknown re-opening dates for Fab and Circo means Selly students are taking matters into their own hands by turning their houses into nightclubs.

Mary* says she could “honestly rant for hours” about her neighbours that live two doors down from her. “Every weekend of lockdown they’ve had a party. No joke. Full on blaring music, loud shouting and a fire pit until 3am. All with more people than actually live in their house.

“The only time they’ve ever stopped for us was one night in November when they’d set off about a million fireworks. They only stopped because my hamster had died that night and I was crying. Genuinely the worst neighbours ever in Selly for noise” she told The Birmingham Tab.

When Mary was asked if had she reported the problem to UoB, she told The Birmingham Tab, “no, the most we have ever done is shouting over the fence.

“We should probably get the Community Wardens involved but to be honest if you’re willing to party in a pandemic, you’re probably not bothered about your neighbours.”

Our neighbours literally take no crap

Probably the most bizarre story, Amelie* admits to The Birmingham Tab her neighbours have some seriously questionable littering habits.

“We had nightmare neighbours in the second half of the first lockdown who would throw their kids’ nappies on their roof”, she told The Birmingham Tab.

I think this one has already won my vote.

He threatened us after walking his dog in our garden

“Last week my neighbour decided to walk his dog in my back garden, and I caught him. I told him to leave and he called me and my flatmates ‘slags’, repeatedly swearing at us. After that he then threatened to bash our heads in”, student Ellie* told The Birmingham Tab.

Despite the violent nature of his threats, Ellie and her housemates saw the experience in a light-hearted way.

“The whole thing is very funny because he tried to pass off the fact walking his dog in someone else’s garden was a normal thing to do.”

Our house is sandwiched between noisy neighbours

Lillie* told The Birmingham Tab she “definitely has nightmare neighbours” on both sides of her student house.

“One neighbour releases music on SoundCloud so is constantly screeching and honestly the only thing I can compare it to is yodelling. Recently my housemate and I had to bang on his wall five times at 1:30am to get him to stop – it’s awful!

“He also loves to have very loud sex and our walls are like an inch thick. I’m also going through a breakup so it’s extra annoying. How his house doesn’t barge in and shut him up is beyond me!”

They say lightning doesn’t strike twice, but this isn’t the case for Lillie, who has another nightmare neighbour on the other side.

“My other neighbour isn’t a student and likes to stay up until about 4am FaceTiming what sounds like his wife and screaming child. Once again, the walls are so thin I might as well be on the call with them” she told The Birmingham Tab.

They started a massive fire and we got the blame

Claudia* confesses her nightmare neighbours’ story from the first lockdown to The Birmingham Tab:

“Last year I had some pretty weird neighbours. They were a local family with quite a lot of members. We never figured out how many people lived there but there was a lot of screaming and chaos not just from the kids but also the adults too.

“The weirdest thing was one day they decided to have a bonfire over the summer lockdown. The fire was so big someone saw it from the street and called the fire brigade.

“The fire brigade actually knocked on my house and assumed it was us that had caused it. I took them to see our garden and turns out it was the neighbours who then got told off.”

The builders next-door have taken over our house

Although UoB student Charlie* does not have noisy residents, instead she has noisy builders renovating the house next door:

“We have builders next door building an eight-bedroom house connected to ours. The noise of the construction is a constant nightmare”, she told The Birmingham Tab.

It also appears the builders have made themselves at home in Charlie’s student property as well as next door, as “they also build fires in our garden, right by our back door and use it to warm their feet in the cold”.

Despite the fact Selly has some nightmare neighbours, students aren’t really that bothered who they live next door to. All they care about is when the next Circo Monday is going to be.

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• All the joys of living in Selly right now

• We asked UoB students how safe they really feel in Selly

• Circo is being temporarily closed down due to the third lockdown