Image may contain: Flooring, Military, Military Uniform, Human, Person

It’s week two of kebab shop reviews: Food Republic

This week we coined the term coosoi chips


Welcome back to your favourite series you didn’t know you needed. This week, we checked out Food Republic on Broad Street with special guest, pizza connoisseur, Leon Dammone, who can hopefully apply his culinary knowledge to the complex and enigmatic dish that is kebab meat and chips

Value

I kept the order similar with lamb donner and cheesy chips (£5), however since I was feeling a like a bit of a bad boy I also chucked in six chicken nuggets (£2.99). I'll be honest I couldn't finish it since the portions were huge and £5 for a donner and chips is very reasonable. Leon ordered the same as me because he's got good taste and knows what's up.

9/10

Image may contain: Food, Restaurant, Finger, Couch, Furniture, Human, Person

Leon in deep thought

Ambience

G: Distinctly average. Although there are about 40 people behind the counter, I reckon there's enough to make an American Football team and they'd probably beat the Birmingham Lions.

L: Going for a piss in Food Republic was like competing in the final of dancing on ice because it was so slidey, a real bolero experience to get to the wazzer. 4/10

Taste

G: Although the chips were genuinely outstanding and COOSOI (crispy on outside, soft on inside), textural difference of lamb donner meat is so crucial in its evaluation and unfortunately tonight was soggy city. In a portion, there needs to be at least a view strands where there is crispiness on one side to act as a contrast to the softer meat closer to the centre of spit and they were nowhere to be seen. Also the chilli sauce was all heat and no flavour.

L: Chips absolutely bang. But I do agree with Greg about the meat. It's like Rapunzel with a kebab because she decided to sacrifice her big kebabby locks to save the whole of humanity. (Note: After re-reading this sentence over 400 times the morning after, this still makes no sense to me) 2/10

Image may contain: Meal, Cake, Dessert, Birthday Cake, Human, Person, Food, Fries

A sad and lonely donner kebab and chips

Customer Service

Although the food was thoroughly underwhelming the guys in the shop were very welcoming. They banged some extra garlic sauce on the nugs which was good of them. Again I ask why they believe their kebab shop is the best in Brum:

Mossi – "Because everything is fresh and we are open 24 hours a day"

Aresh – "We have a versatile menu; everything always changes" 7/10

Image may contain: Drink, Beverage, Water Bottle, Bottle, Human, Person

Very sober

As much as I enjoy going to these places, this week unfortunately was not Food Republic's week. Leon and I may not have been on a good night but if you're looking for just chips, you will struggle to beat the ones from here.

Overall: 3/10

If you're enjoying this series, listen into BBC Radio West Midlands 95.6 on Thursday 6th December at 7:30pm on Sasha Simone's show 'The Tribe' where I'll be talking all things kebabs. And yes, I don't know why they've asked me either.

To see exclusive videos of me and my companions on our Pit Stop trip, follow @thetab_birmingham on instagram.