This is how to get over your ex at university
The tried and tested step-by-step guide
University is either a maker or breaker of relationships. Unfortunately, (or perhaps more so fortunately in the long run) transitioning between home life and university life often causes turbulences in a relationship, and consequently, experiencing a break-up with your childhood sweetheart can become inevitable.
A break up may seem like the end of the world at the time, but it may only be the beginning of a new one. Turn a new page and help the healing process using this advice.
Cut all contact
We’re all guilty of it. A simple text asking if they’re okay may seem harmless, but in reality a break-up never becomes real until all contact is cut (for the early stages of the break-up anyway). Subconsciously, emotional attachment will continue until you not only promise yourself to cut contact, but also act upon that promise.
As dramatic as it may seem, blocking each other on social media is often the healthiest option. Temptation takes over when their Facebook page is there to stalk at your disposal. Resistance is everything when it comes to the fresh stages of a break up.
Delete the memories
Time to say goodbye to the rose-tinted glasses. It’s so easy to deceive yourself into thinking that your relationship was perfect once it has ended. The cliché saying, ‘you only realise what you have once it’s gone’ may be true, but remember that it also ended for a reason.
Delete the photos, replace your favourite playlist with a new favourite playlist. Everything may remind you of them, from a song played in a club to a familiar scent walking down the road. These things may seem inescapable, but you’ve got to start somewhere. Eventually memories will fade if you stop looking for them.
Don’t seclude yourself
An initial reaction to a break-up may be that you want to be alone and that you don’t want to talk about it. This is exactly what you shouldn’t do in a post-breakup state of mind. Surrounding yourself with friends and distracting yourself is so important in order to fade the pain.
Take advantage of university life perks – go to the pub, join a society. Anything to get you out of the ‘I hate my life’ mind-set. Being bedbound is forbidden, unless it’s with your best friend with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.
They say the best form of revenge is success. Whether you’re after vengeance or not, learning to love yourself is so important when it comes to getting back on the horse. A break-up often knocks confidence but it can also motivate you to find self-love rather than relying on somebody else to love you.
Joining the gym is a good way to start. Exercise will make you feel empowered both physically and mentally. Endorphins are your best friend, and showing your ex what they’re missing is so much healthier than longing after them helplessly.
Feeling confident in yourself can help you to feel in control of your own emotions rather than depending on your ex. Go shopping, treat yourself, know your worth.
Take your time
Getting over your ex isn’t a race. Never pressure yourself into thinking ‘Why am I still not over them?’. Whilst the saying ‘you’ve got to get under someone to get over someone’ may work for some, it can also have the opposite effect if it’s rushed. You’ll find yourself comparing people with your ex if you jump straight back into the dating scene.
Being single is fun and exciting, however you have to put yourself first. Learning to rely on yourself for happiness before relying on somebody else is the trick to mental stability. Once you’ve cracked this, explore the single scene, start dating, see what’s out there. Rushing into this may mean that you filter all your negative thoughts and feelings towards your ex into something or someone new, which could become messy. Be easy on yourself and be patient.
Although it may seem like the case at the time, coming to the end of a relationship isn’t the end of the world, but rather the end of a chapter.
Circumstances change, people change, life changes. Rather than moping around wondering ‘what if’, tell yourself that everything happens for a reason. It’s important for you to take control when it comes to adapting to this major life change. Be rational, and remember to be patient with time, and time will be patient with you.