How Storm Doris broke Selly

As if your life couldn’t get any worse

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Yesterday, Storm Doris caused havoc across Selly Oak. One incident on Hubert Road yesterday morning involved a roof caving in, and ended with a scratched £30,000 Mercedes, a demolished roof left on the pavement, and an awkward phone call to the landlord.

One tenant of the house described his experience: “So basically the back roof unattached and flew over the top of the house down on to the street”.

After a loud bang the tenants had to safely deal with the roof , amidst the constant strong winds of Doris. The tenant continued: “The whole roof is now in the alleyway after we ripped it up and dragged it to safety, luckily we’re all ok”.

The incident was posted on Fab ‘n’ Fresh, and currently has over 1,000 likes. In spite of losing a roof and having a morning full of chaos, the Hubert tenants saw the funny side, and posted a lyrical status about the ravaged roof: “So when the roof caved in and the truth came out, 256 Hubert Road just didn’t know what to do?! Cheers Storm Dorris“.

The roof, unfortunately, was not the only victim of Storm Doris. On Tiverton Road a tree fell over into the house two doors down, many walls have collapsed, and nobody has a clue who to vote for in the Guild elections because most of the banners have been blown away. The 60 mph winds broke walls and trees all over Birmingham. There were also heavy travel disruptions.

So, people of Selly, be careful today, and have your wits about you. After yesterday’s Wizard-of-Oz-like wind scene, more fallen walls, tress and maybe even roofs are possible. So prepare for awkward emails to your Landlord, crying on the phone to your folks, and a big fat F U to life. Storm Doris doesn’t care about your dissertation, she just wants to tear your roof down.