Why I hate Valentine’s Day

It’s a bit shit for everyone really, isn’t it?

14th february love rant romance single the tab the tab birmingham the tab brum valentines day

It’s that time of year again, there’s love hearts everywhere and teddy bears the size of humans in every shop. It’s no good if you’re single or in a relationship, and I think St Valentine would be pretty ashamed of how his big day has turned out.

There’s a whole host of reasons to hate the 14th of February so allow me to name just a few:

The gimmicks

Does that bear holding a heart really say ‘I love you’? Is it the bigger the card the better? Seems to be the more money you spend on rubbish, the more pleased your partner will be. That candle they bought you from Sainsbury’s last night on their way home from work doesn’t seem to mean so much when you realise it was reduced to clear and isn’t even scented.

Taking up space I don’t have

The panic

It’s the first of February and the woman at the local café is already sticking up big hearts on her windows. But, you ask, are we there yet? Surely not, but what if we are? Will he/ she be getting me a gift? Just a card? Do they even like Valentine’s? That last minute sweaty run to pick up some chocolates can’t surely be worth it. Also you bought them that big bar of galaxy just yesterday…

Does it taste better shaped like a heart?

The price

I feel sorry for the people who have to spend all this money to keep the other half pleased. When a ‘Pair of Scotty Dogs’ (what have they got to do with Valentine’s anyway?) costs you £10 and you’re a student who struggles to scrape together the money for the train journey into town you have to be pretty bitter at good old St Valentine. And there’s not just gifts, there’s the thing you have to do together. Dinner, drinks, day out, they all cost. I’m still a bit skint after Christmas to be honest.

That could buy me all sorts

Going out on Valentines

Couples everywhere, holding hands over the table, staring oh so lovingly past the candle into each other’s eyes. Sickening. You can’t escape them when out, but it’s a bit boring staying in. What to do? Maybe go out with your friends, have real fun.

True love

The matchmaking

Apparently, you can’t be alone on Valentine’s. Blind dating events seem to just be a way of getting money out of the lonely ones too. Stop trying to make me go to them, please.

Only being nice on one day

If you love them that much, don’t save it for Valentine’s. Don’t save showing the love to give it a bigger impact. Don’t reduce showing the love into a rose. If you were bitching to your friends about him ditching you to play football or her not letting you play football, when Old Joe bongs midnight, your issues don’t disappear like Cinderella’s dress. Don’t forget everything when you get that Pandora ring you wanted. Bit superficial, really, isn’t it?

The inevitable gushy Instagram posts 

Great, you love them – tell them, not me.

PDA problems

On the up side, apparently Subway are doing a deal where if you buy a large drink you get a free Sub. I’ll be buying into that gimmick. No love, only Sub.