Hipster students are just awful

They’re some of the most boring people you will ever meet

hipsters students the tab the tab birmingham the tab brum

Like most undergrads, when I started university, I was under the illusion that my style, taste in music and even my personality was unique. No one else shopped where I did, and no one else listened to the bands I liked. I was a true individual; no one else in the world was like me.

Of course, being thrown into a pool of 28,000 other students soon made me realise that this wasn’t true.

I have grown up and realised that of course, I’m not the only person who listens to The Doors. I’m not the only girl who wears tweed, or 90’s choker necklaces. I acknowledge that other people share my style and tastes, and that they were probably even doing these things before I was.

I am totes the only person who dresses like this

I am totes the only person who dresses like this

Sadly, this hasn’t occurred to many other students. They continue to subscribe to this delusion that only they, and their very close friendship group, are listening to certain bands, are drinking at certain bars, or are wearing certain clothes. This self described “indie” or “hipster” demographic of young person is not only painfully pretentious. In the madness of their delusion, they are also hilarious to observe.

By all means follow certain “hipster” trends. However, this is exactly where the irony lies – “hipster trend” is an oxymoron. Once something becomes a trend and becomes popular, it is no longer “hipster” or “indie”. You’re going to have to accept that it isn’t just you who enjoys chai tea lattes anymore. You can’t roll your eyes in annoyance if someone ruins your coolness credentials because they too like LCD Soundsystem.

Me has vinyl collection. Me is cooler than you

Me has vinyl collection. Me is cooler than you

Stop pretending that you’re an individual, and start appreciating that other people also have your supposed “good taste” in things. When others reach out to you because they see you have a shared interest in something, don’t jump on your high horse and insist on how YOU knew about it before they were even born.

I’m sorry to break it to you sweetie, but you’re not the only student that did a gap year in Thailand. You’re not the only person who continues to wear those festival wristbands, 4 fucking years after you actually attended. You know yourself that thousands of other people were at that festival. However there you are, strutting into your halls of residence, waving your arm around like we’ve never heard of Leeds or Reading before.

That’s not even that “hipster” a festival – without sounding hypocritical, there are far more off the beaten track festivals than those.

You’re not the only person who chooses to drink at independent cafes, rather than at Starbucks, and you’re not the only person who has a tattoo. I thought we’d established that these became mainstream a long time ago.

And I bet none of you are hipster enough to have gone to the cat cafe in Shoreditch...

And I bet none of you are hipster enough to have gone to the cat cafe in Shoreditch…

The worst part is that you just can’t win with these students. If you don’t share their style and tastes, you’re met with just as much cold hostility as if you do. These hipsters look at you with utter disdain if you’ve never heard of “that” band, or if you’ve never been to “this” shop.

But aren’t you the one lacking creativity if you have to rely on these tropes to define your personality? Doesn’t that make you the creativity starved pleb that you perceive these other people to be?

You’re not any better than someone else just because they listen to Coldplay and you listen to some generic indie band that NME said were great. Don’t get me wrong, I think Coldplay are awful, but I don’t immediately cut all ties with a person if I learn that “Viva La Vida” is their party anthem of choice. If they’d rather eat in Nando’s than your local vegan delicatessen, does that really make them so awful? Just because they have their music stored on iTunes instead of a limited edition pressed vinyl, does that mean they’re too boring for you to give your time of day to?

Anyway, doesn't everywhere serve their drinks in jars now?

Anyway, doesn’t everywhere serve their drinks in jars now?

Who even sets the precedent of what “cool” is anyway?

Hipsters, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t get offended when someone likes the same things as you, or has done the same things you have but then hate on anyone who hasn’t. We’re all guilty of following things that are popular, and jumping on bandwagons – especially you. For this reason alone, you’re not as original as you think you are.

I mean, is it so difficult for us all to get along, regardless of what our tastes in fashion and music are?