How I survived a phoneless week

No, I didn’t lose it in Gatecrasher

birmingham challenge drunk text funny iphone night out phone social media student stupid tuesdays

As a self-confessed phone and social media addict, I was challenged to survive without it for one hellish week.

To make the task more ridiculous and inconvenient than it already was, I decided to abstain from all my favourite social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter and my dearly beloved Instagram feed.


Day One: Monday

Mixed emotions. Many obstacles. Much stress.

My housemate Rachel became a human alarm clock as it occured to me while getting into bed Sunday night, that one of the reason’s I hate my phone is because it wakes me up in the morning.

On a monday I was already contemplating faking my own death to stay in bed

Not only did I have an actual person shaking me awake, which most will agree, is fucking terrifying, but I couldn’t even press snooze and enjoy another 10 minutes of that blissful sleepy morning feeling.

Day Two: (Stupid) Tuesday 

Thats right, I made an executive decision to brave a night out with my mates at the infamous Players. And it was bloody brilliant.

When I’m trollied, the last thing I want to do is attempt to form a text to meet up with friends, or try to get in contact with that one annoying, wandering mate that sees a night out as a chance to explore Birmingham alone.

No phone? Not my problem. I was free to enjoy my night throwing shapes and expressing myself through the medium of interpretive dance.

Even MI5 couldn’t decipher this text 

However, it did occur to me that not taking your phone on a night out is an admittedly dumb decision.

Imagine if I’d lost my mates and was being cornered by a middle aged leech in VIP, or got lost and couldn’t even call a taxi home.

Scary thought.

Day Three: Wednesday

I had a long hungover day on campus planned, and I was actually beginning to feel a weird sense of freedom (along with a mixture of shame and regret).

I wasn’t constantly checking my pocket or bag to ensure my most prized possession was still there.

I wasn’t panicking hearing any noise that remotely sounded like my phone dropping out of my pocket.

Bitches wanna be me

Breezing through my day, I avoided distractions with the blissful knowledge that my phone was stored safely away in a drawer at home.

Day Four: Thursday

I found out I had a week to organise and plan a presentation with four random people from my seminar group.

It loomed on me the amount of effort this is via the archaic mode of e-mail. So I e-mailed my group lamely asking them to add me on Facebook – a Facebook to which I couldn’t access – and hoped for the best.

Not being able to text, ring or even Facebook message someone is starting to become a serious problem. The sheer convenience of a smartphone is, when you think about it, pretty mind-blowing.

Is social media really that sociable?

But the lack of online communication resulted in a lot more actual talking. I wasn’t relentlessly tapping through a 103 second snapchat story whilst mid conversation.

I wasn’t checking my texts for an “instant” message that required an instant reply.

Day Five/Six: The Weekend

So many missed Instagram opportunities. I travelled home to see friends and couldn’t even upload a selfie-stick-selfie to mark the occasion.

Stuffing my face with my local pub grub, I realised I hadn’t even snapchatted a picture of my glorious meal accompanied by several love heart emojis.

Who says you can’t document your eating habits over social media? Haters. Thats who.

And I missed the chance to upload a golden teapot-pose picture of my night out on tuesday, proving that I’m a party animal who doesn’t actually prefer to stay in most nights watching The Big Bang Theory repeats.

proof I actually have mates

Day Seven: Sunday

Much to my delight my phone was returned to me, and it was a bit of an anti-climax.

Although grateful to be able to lie in bed and mindlessly scroll through Instagram, my day got more unproductive the more time I spent judging pictures of Kylie Jenner’s awful hair extensions.

I’d had a really good week, done lots of fun things and although I couldn’t share them on Facebook for the likes – I’m not really that bothered at all.

The chore of checking my phone every 5 minutes was back, along with my social media addiction.

And it made me think – dramatic pause…

Is the smartphone really a blessing, or a burden?