Grabbing my ass is never OK, even if I’m in a ninja outfit

Why can’t no just mean no?

alcohol clubs drinking fab feminism harassment sexual

For many girls, being harassed in a nightclub is hardly an alien situation.

I was recently a victim of this at Sports Night.

I was waiting at the bar and a guy grabbed a handful of my ass, took my drink off the bartender and asked: “Is this for me?”

When I told him no he threw the drink on the floor, called me a slut, and ran off.

The whole thing obviously upset me, but perhaps the most infuriating aspect of it all was the way in which I was humiliated simply because I was unwilling to give the guy a drink.

I doubt any sane male would demand a drink from another random guy at a bar, and they certainly wouldn’t dream of subjecting them to the abuse I received on refusal.

And besides, for the record – I was not dressed as a ‘slut’ – I was dressed as a fully sheathed ninja.

For many girls, this kind of behaviour is the uncomfortable reality of most nights out.

It seems that once inside a club, the rulebook on what is acceptable is torn up for a lot of men: all too often due to a sense that in a dark and overcrowded room, it’s easy to get away with it.

And despite your attempts to turn a blind eye, feign ignorance, or even confront your encroacher straight up with a clear sign of rejection, on many occasion it simply isn’t enough.

For many men in clubs, the word ‘no’ simply does not compute.

Normally that is, until you utter the magic words: “I’ve got a boyfriend.” Nine out of ten times even the most pestering of men choose to walk away.

But out of everything, why is it that the vast majority of the time, it’s the boyfriend card that comes up trumps?

For a woman to have to resort to lying about her relationship status says a lot about the situation – it really is a matter of last resort.

What is so appalling about it all is that for many of these men forcing themselves upon women, their decision to stop any further advance is based upon a mutual respect for the other guy: the imaginary boyfriend, not concern for the woman stood before them.

Of course it’s not every guy that does this by any means, but that doesn’t mean that it is any less of an issue.

Such behaviour is inexcusable in any other public or private space. Why should a nightclub be any different?

Female harassment is an issue in society that is to some degree showing signs of abating.

But when the night descends and the alcohol flows, the issue of harassment will continue to rear its ugly head unless more is done to raise awareness on the issue, and, perhaps more importantly, to make sure it is never tolerated.

Whether it’s in a student hub like Fab, or more general nights out on Broad Street, it really is time iron out club harassment.

Has this happened to you? Tell us your story on [email protected].