Breaking Bad: Breathalyser blunder leaves Guild blushing

Plastered students were left rather bemused on Saturday night when their breathalyser readings were registered below the drink-drive limit.

In the first weekend trial of the new breathalyser scheme – measuring how drunk you are on the door of Fab and Sports Night – issues have already surfaced.

One breathalyser was giving low readings to battered Fab goers as it hadn’t been calibrated properly.

Speaking to The Tab, a Fab bouncer confirmed one of the breathalysers had done a “pretty shoddy job”.

The Guild’s breathalysers just don’t cut the mustard

He added: “On the night, it was clear one of the breathalysers was giving some pretty dodgy readings.

“We were taking tests from students who had clearly had at least six pints, or the equivalent, or more, but the readings seemed far too low.

“I was a bit thrown by it to be honest, the breathalysers didn’t seem to gauge how much a student had actually drunk at all.

“To put things frankly, this trial is unpopular among students and staff alike – it’s time consuming and by the looks of it, isn’t even working properly.”

On hearing the news, some students have expressed annoyance at the Guild.

Second year historian Katie said: “What’s the point in introducing them if they aren’t going to work anyway?

“It’s embarrassing for the Guild that they’ve already broken on the first trial, and surely the bouncers don’t need breathalysers to be able to tell who is too drunk to be let in anyway.”

Second Year Law student Ellie agrees: “It mocks the system that the breathalysers didn’t work, but from our point of view it’s just pretty hilarious.”

Fab pres won’t change

Responding to the problem, Guild VP for welfare Frankie Greenwell told The Tab the faulty breathalyser has been sent back to West Midlands Police to be re-calibrated.

He said: “One of the machines that we have been given by the West Midlands police  was not calibrated correctly and did not provide us with the correct information.

“After a few attempts using the incorrectly calibrated machine , we stopped using it and just used the one that was calibrated properly.

“We’ve been in contact with the West Midlands police who have come in and re-calibrated the machine so that it will provide us with the correct readings, we were still able to take sixty successful readings throughout the night however.”

Relax Frankie

Trials for breathalysing will continue for another two weeks.

After that, students will be selected at random and will have to prove they are below the set limit, which is yet to be decided upon.