Snobs don’t want you to come to their closing night

Snobs have scheduled their closing party on a Sunday in an effort to deter people from coming.

The club, which has propped up Broad Street for over 40 years, will close its doors on Sunday 21^st September.

DJ David Southern said they were “concerned” if the final night was on a Saturday “too many people would want to come.”

He said: “We were a bit concerned that if we had the final night on a Saturday too many people would want to come.

“We have managed to time it as we wanted, as we reopen when the new students come for Freshers’ Week.

“We are sure it is the best time and that they are going to have a great time at the new Snobs.”

PICTURED: A great time

Snobs fans won’t have to wait long though, as it will reopen its new £2 million home in Smallbrook just three days later.

But that hasn’t stopped hearts from breaking across campus.

Natalie Newsome, a final year psychology student, told The Tab: “The news has ruined my final year. Still, I hear it’s going somewhere near Chinatown, which will mean good post night out food. At least we can still get pissed as farts”

Exactly this pissed

One student, who wanted to remain anonymous because his mom used to go there, said: “It’s so crazy Snobs is moving. That place has been here forever.

“I know my mum used to go there when she was a student”.

The mother could not be reached for comment.

Snobs’ new home, just under a mile away from its current location, will aim to keep the same vibe and will even mimic its signature sunken dance floor.

But Broad Street will never look the same once the infamous scaffolding comes off and a restaurant, hotel and apartments take its place in a £16 million development plan.

Tickets are already on sale for the closing ceremony, and it’s highly unlikely the fact it’s on a Sunday will put any diehard fans off.

Next week: Does Snobs cause Jaundice?

Have you got any funny stories from Snobs to share with us? Tweet @TheTabBrum.