Why you should date a Maths student

Although many of you potential suitors are probably under the impression that all maths students love to work, don’t have a social life and spend all their time solving equations, that only applies to about half of us.

The other half of us are not only normal, but when it comes to dating, we’re the business.

Pick up lines

We love nerdy pick up lines. Nothing gets a number cruncher worked up like flirting with calculus. If you can get pythagorus theorem in there, who knows where the night might end up… So get practising those Maths puns, you’ll have us infatuated in no time.

Baby you’re one over cos(c)

Intelligent conversation

We’re smart. Like super smart, and the best thing is we’re modest too! So if you want an actual intellectual conversation, instead of debating whether a sombrero hat is racist or not- Maths students are the way forward. We know about the stuff that really matters!

Cock-blockers/annoying friend deterrent

 If we’re on a date, neither of us want someone interrupting the occasion. That’s why we’re such good company! Our services can be deployed in seconds. Got a friend you would rather avoid? Just give the signal and we will begin talking about the “really exciting” proof we learnt the other day. Those irritants will be running in no time!

Work hard play hard

The saying goes that the harder your course is, the harder you party. I can safely say that’s true: You’ll find us necking the Jager and Sambuca shots at the bar and then dancing like there’s no tomorrow. We might even leave our calculators at home too!

But where can I put my calculator in this outfit?

Dress to impress

Given that we hit the 9am five days a week, you will undoubtedly see us sporting the not-so-fashionable hoody and jeans combo around campus. But never fear, that only means that when we let our hair down, you’ll be all the more impressed. Nothing beats a Maths student, glammed-up and sporting the high heels.

9am: Did not make it onto this years Milan catwalk unfortunately

9pm: Now that’s more like it!

Walking calculator

Can’t total up your shopping in Aldi? Can’t work out if you can afford 6 crème eggs if they’re 60p each and you have £2.50? That’s why you need a Maths student by your side. With one of us, you can eat those creme eggs. Indulge in the knowledge that you will never have to do a sum again.

Stamina

With six deadlines a fortnight we’re no stranger to the all-nighter. Given our expertise in working hard throughout the night, I’m sure we could extend our experience to other late night affairs, should the occasion arise..

 Work will have to wait until the morning..

Problem solving

Any maths student will boast about this one and why not? It’s an attractive quality! What could be worse than coming home from a successful night at Fab, having pulled, only to find to your drunken horror you are unable to insert your key into the lock. (the front door of course…) Well hopefully you will have brought back one of us- nothing will stand in our way of sealing the deal after good night out! So don’t worry, we’ll be able to show you how to get that pesky key into its rightful place, even if we’re paralytic.

Splitting the bill

 If you’ve decided to split the bill on a date, the last thing you want to be doing is awkwardly trying to work out who’s paying what. No frantic mental panic needed- we’ll have worked it out the second the Bill is placed on the table. (you pay it all- Cheapskate)

Who needs Ann Summer when you’ve got these badboys?

Life of luxury

 If things get serious, you’ll be pleased to hear that if you’ve bagged a maths student, they’re likely to land a great job with lots of disposable income. Okay so the job probably isn’t going to be the most exciting, but when we’ve got a Ferrari and a holiday home by the time we’re 30, who’s going to complain? What more could you want!

 We’ll even have a chauffeur. Glamorous