How to cope with dating a local

Coming from the West Midlands, I never expected to end up in a relationship with a fully-fledged brummie – accent and all; especially with all the potential suitors from around the country offering their film watching services.

It may not be an exotic story with Fernando from Madrid on his year abroad; bull fighting on Dawlish Road for my affections, but brummie boys and girls do have their perks and quirks.

The dreaded accent

The most obvious deterrent coming from these peaky blinders is the sound resounding from their mouths. Unfortunately they can’t do anything about this and after years of being told ‘you’re from Coventry, so you’re a brummie, right?’, I have grown to despise the accent- which was an awkward first date ice breaker.

Sometimes the accent can get too much…

But have no fear, the Brum accent is in the top 10 for friendliest and most trustworthy British accents and I hear trust and friendliness are pretty high up most relationship wish lists. It’s not harsh and they always sound ridiculously laid back. Plus, impersonating ‘birrrrminnnnnnghumm’ provides endless laughs, even if they don’t believe they sound like your award-winning impersonation.

Local lingo

Have you ever walked into the Goose and been unable to understand the local lingo? That’s because the brummies have their own vernacular. They never ‘lend something’ in Birmingham but ask for you to ‘borrow me it’ and ‘mom’ is what they call their mums- as if they’re American or something. The odd spelling mistake in your essays won’t seem so bad, in comparison to your loved one’s conversations.

On the outside they may seem like a grammar Nazis worst nightmare, but if you think about it, most people secretly crave the ability to constantly correct someone.

You can keep up with all the latest Selly gossip first hand and perhaps even become the regulars ‘bab’ with your impressive knowledge of the local language. You’ll never have to fight for those sofa seats again-your mates will be watching your back! Just think, you could have a romantic evening cuddled up on the sofa watching Benefits Street, without needing a translator.

Fact: they can interpret the aliens as well as White Dee

Blues or Villa

Whether they like football or not, they have to pick a colour: blues or claret and blue. It’s a form of identity and it’s an easy way to figure out what side of the city your guy or gal is from. Don’t worry you’ll always come first, as long as you don’t ask to go on a date to Villa Park when you really meant St. Andrews.

Bluenose love

Meet the family

It is sometimes a daunting experience meeting your other-half’s parents but the opportunity to indulge in home cooked meals, a warm house and non-uni chit-chat is a blessing you just can’t turn down! Plus the chances are, they will be able to recommend all the places in Birmingham we students wouldn’t even think to check out because the Vodbull moose hasn’t told us to.

They start to notice when you only come round after your Aldi shopping has run out..

Convenience

Long distance relationship? No need, they’re just down the road during your stressful term time. Whether you need a hug because dissertation stress is getting to you or a quick escape plan from cleaning rota duties, there’s no need to call a friend AA style- just call your partner, free of charge.

Plus if they’re getting under your feet, you can pop back home to make the heart grow fonder!

So hurry down to the Goose and snatch up your Selly regular before everyone realises how much of a catch they really are.

The Tab doesn’t provide elocution lessons, sorry you’re on your own!