Tell Him/Her Yourself

“Kids these days don’t know how to talk to people except through a computer. When I was your age…” At that point your mind both wanders and wonders. It wanders away from this same-old older generation technophobic rant, and it wonders what sort of technology your grandkids would have which would prompt a similar reaction from the elderly, outdated version of yourself.

There’s one page that has me agreeing with the oldies though. I look at it almost every day and I’ve even posted on it a couple of times.

Tell Him/Her: The fountain of social truths/ knowledge

Tell Him/Her continues to attract our attention by captivating the “essentials” of the student experience- from romantic posts of affection, to the downright perverted. Spotted and Confessions were all leading up to this moment. The posts  about previous drunken antics are funny, but it’s the hope of finding something sultry going on in their social circles that keeps most students coming back.

Whilst crushes are sweet, the anonymous Casanovas are unwittingly preventing the development of their abilities to charm and romance.

The result? Some pretty weird stuff; and some interesting questions:

“Is I’m going to get you pregnant a legit chat-up line now?”

The page encourages you to externalise whatever you’re thinking without worrying about face-to-face rejection. Or as the Tell Him/Her Manchester puts it: if you’ve “not got the balls to tell him/her to their face?”

Well that escalated quickly.

I’m probably over-thinking this. Its not like I’ve ever seen any reactions of genuine horror at even the most seedy posts. The men and women of Brum seem to laugh off advances pretty well. Despite being tagged in a comment regarding a post of affection in December, one medic student is still waiting for her admirer to reveal themselves.  When I asked how she felt she said “Curious? And a bit flattered!” Clearly the page has some positive effects then.

Some thought went into this one.

However, it appears that Tell Him\Her can also have a rather embarrassing and unnerving effect on those implicated. Another student I spoke to, who was subject to a secret admirers posting said: “I was a bit apprehensive when my friends told me I was mentioned because of what people tend to post on these groups.” After a while she said she realised it was complimentary but she cannot be the only one to have felt brief discomfort. Not surprising with an anonymous admirer on the prowl and likely several hundred people having a quick peek at her profile.

No student is safe from the perversion

Its hard to imagine how this phenomenon couldn’t lead to some pretty awkward confrontations. I find it even worse when there’s no drama; it means you can get away with expressing the sexist, creepy and even mildly racist remarks without rebuke. Is it really right that people should only voice these personal thoughts and opinions, under the guise of a page such as this?

Fair enough there are perks- lets not forget the posts which lead to found wallets and re-discovered keys, or at least shaming some 3am music blasters. Most recently, Roosters was shamed for allegedly getting into an altercation with customers, which probably lost them some business given the publicity power of the page.

Major crisis averted.

Tell Him/Her is funny enough at a glance, but it could  be stunting those all-important social skills. The fact is, in the real world you won’t be able to hide behind a computer screen, or a Facebook page in every situation. When it comes to sealing the deal (or even completing the preliminary paperwork), face-to-face beats Facebook every time.