The NO in Neknomination

You probably know what I’m talking about here. As soon as you read the title you probably curled up into a ball at your desk, dribbling as the torrent of amateur video footage obliterates all rational thought.

Just in case you don’t, this craze has resurfaced in British universities on a large scale. You down a pint on video and you nominate two other people to do the same. This creates a multiplying phenomenon that’s spreads through Facebook from campus to campus. The only consolation seems to be that most only partake in this once, making this a short-lived craze…hopefully.

taking the ‘torture’ element of Neknom to the next level..

It’s not just pints, some bad bad things go into down these students throats. Chili powder, roosters, gravy granules. Anything that you wouldn’t previously have given any thought to putting in a drink. The first one I saw was a Reading Uni rugby player. His consisted of some raw eggs (and the shells), a load of protein powder and some beer. It was reassuring to think this was just some jock fad which would blow out in a couple of weeks. It wasn’t impressive at the time, it’s not impressive now and it’s never going to get a reaction that doesn’t involve heavy doses of incredulity.

Free sauces from pizza shack? BRILLIANT.

A Huffington Post on the subject says “the stunts performed get even more outrageous, disgusting and theoretically even lethal” Well its now been a couple of weeks, two people have died across the country and many more have been hospitalised either from what they’ve drunk or the circumstances in which they’ve done the deed. If there was any theory its gone now.

I’m not in a massive party sphere and even I know of one person in the early stages of a coma and several more with blood alcohol poisoning. The worst I’ve heard, from a second year dentist, is a drink involving several eggs which is consumed, thrown back up, cooked into an omelette, and then eaten.

This is exactly what it may look like.

Why would anyone think this is a good idea? Well actually they don’t, the continuation of this trend advances nothing except the argument that if enough mates tell you it’s a good idea, it’s a good idea.

When I considered writing, I was hoping someone else on the Tab Team would balance my piece out with a feature showing the best neknominations they’ve seen. The impression I got was “we can’t, because there is genuinely nothing good about it.” A friend from freshers, just a few minutes before being forced into drinking back up his own vomit (probably from the shot of urine in the first take) lamented that “this is a horrible idea.” He managed to get most of his fluids back into himself though. Great success.

Hats off for audacity I guess: student redefines the Mile High Club

I caught up with a mate from the year above, recovering from a vid of him downing a pint of soy sauce. He was still alive from the overdose of salt (formerly an established form of suicide in Japan by the way.) ‘I found out just as I was about to do the pint that it could kill me, so I made sure I drank it as quick as I could then got it out of my body as quickly as possible.’

There is a note of challenge in most of the videos, each nominee daring their successors to do better. By participating in neknomination, you’re carrying on the chain and dropping a host of other people in the fire, not just yourself. You can get round the inevitable escalation with a few atmospheric changes; drinking on a human pyramid or a horse or even jumping over a bridge. Eventually however, it’s going to come back down the basic sentiment, drinking more and more garbage. This isn’t good for you, it’s a massive shock to the system and just hope you can throw it all back up again.

Some attempts may require a blender.

In a world where Facebook likes act as subconscious currency, an extreme and dangerous video of you suffering is a sure-fire way to cop and instant popularity boost. This is the start and end of the motive behind neknomination. Its not even for charity, and if it was that charity would have jumped ship long ago. The humour has never eclipsed the potential danger and in truth it’s already getting old.

Yeah it’s a result, but is it worth it?

If you’ve just been nominated and you happen to be reading this. Please don’t let mass hysteria override basic self-preservation instinct. At the end of the day no video you post will give you eternal glory. In a few months, the phrase neknomination will no longer be clogging up anyone’s newsfeeds. Go and get hammered like normal and at least have a good time over it. Compressing machismo one-upmanship into a pint glass is only going to give you regrets and maybe a fluid drip.

Don’t even get me started on Random Acts of Kindness…