The Tab turns food critic

The Tab checked out the food, and Tory wet dreams, on campus.


We realise sitting in a lecture for a strenuous hour or two a day can really give you an appetite, so the Tab has been playing food critic for you wonderful, greedy readers. Myself (Ellie) and Luke acted as honorary judges and equipped with a camera and important-looking napkins, have rated the new food options available on campus. Remembering the dry chips and rather expensive salad that were sold in the former Avanti, we didn’t start off with high expectations but tried not to be too cynical. Well, kind of tried.

GoBrittania:

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Luke: Fish and Chips

Despite the name sounding like a Tory wet dream, the food here was actually quite nice. The cod wasn’t as bad as mass produced fish can be and the chips were good. Not Roosters good. Not Roosters cheap either, but that applies to most food really. But the peas were so undercooked, they were tougher than Vinnie Jones’ dildo. They were solid green
pellets; like eating bb pellets. Never mind.  Nobody queues up in the chippy for peas. Apart from that, this meal was rather good and the other meal options would have appealed to you mega-carnivores out there. And the staff here didn’t seem to mind me taking photos while they worked. So that too…
Taste: ****
Value: ***
Convenience: **
Customer Service: ***

GoMex: 

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Ellie:  Nachos grande (with ‘vegetarian alternative’)

A little taste of Mexico has come to the University Centre in the form of a wannabe-authentic burrito bar. I appreciated their decor. It was fun if a little try-hard:  good effort Gomex. I ordered the nachos grande for £3.85 in the dodgy veggie option. Clearly nobody had ordered this before as the staff didn’t have a clue what it was. I’m not entirely sure what it was either but it tasted good and was easily enough for two people.

The Gomex staff (well, this man with the face on above) were  rather grumpy and refused to warm up my nachos so the cheese melted. Let’s make this clear Gomex, nachos are not the same without scrumptious melted cheese.  It was sadly  just no match compared to our beloved Tim’s Burrito Bar. We’re still mourning you Tim, come back!

Taste: ****
Value: ***
Convenience: ***
Customer Service: *

GoAsia:

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Luke: Chicken Korma

If GoBrittiania sounded like a Tory wet dream, this was Ed Miliband’s equivalent. It had substance and some definite positives, but no real kick. This meal was just perfectly average. It tasted like something I could have cooked up myself, and the politest way to describe my cooking would be to say that I’m not exactly about to start charging £4.55 a pop for it. But hey, if you have some money to spare and still fancy a bland curry,  I suggest giving it a try. At the very least the staff here were much friendlier than in GoMex (aforementioned grumpy guy wouldn’t even let me try on the Sombrero on display. How rude).

Taste: ***
Value: *
Convenience: ***
Customer Service: *****

GoItalia:

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Ellie:  Pizza and garlic bread

I love Italian food so I was pretty excited to try this place out, and I definitely wasn’t disappointed. My vegetable pizza was rather posh with yummy sun dried tomatoes and a drizzle of pesto on an authentically crispy base . There was also the option for a meaty all-day-breakfast or standard margherita for those of you with a ‘Neil from The Inbetweeners’ level of pesto confidence. “What’s this pesto stuff, is it for humans?”. GoItalia was probably the best value for money, with a £7.50 pizza meal deal for two, garlic bread for 60p and rather good pasta meal deals. Plus the staff were lovely. I do like being smiled at every once in a while: take note world.

Taste: *****
Value: ****
Convenience: ***
Customer Service: *****