Your Degree is Shit

BEN KENNEDY reveals why every single one of your degrees is shit, despite knowing absolutely nothing about most of them.


Archaeology: The only good things about it are Lara Croft and Jurassic Park and neither of those exist.

Economics: nobody actually knows what this is.

French: too French.

Music: students sit around all day writing guitar ballads about their feelings.

Physics: none of them wash and they all look like this.

 

Politics: you get beaten if you’re not a Tory.

Psychology: You don’t actually learn how to hypnotise people. Bloody pointless.

Philosophy: Paying to think about thinking, nice. Mystic Meg’s got it covered.

Maths: By the time you graduate, you’ll still be shitter than an Excel spreadsheet.

Nutrition: They all drink their own piss and believe in the healing power of crystals.

Business Management: Spend three years learning how to use a photocopier and a hole punch.

Healthcare Science: Get regularly kicked in the crotch by Medicine students.

Zoology: Rolf Harris.

Medicine: Too many anus inspections.

Geology: Highest suicide rate of any subject.

Computer Science: Students lose the ability to do anything unless it’s got a screen and a keyboard grafted onto it.

Sociology: Universally hated by the student populace (in a poll of over 27,000 people, 67% of them said they ‘hate’ sociology).

History of Art: Everyone talks like Princess Anne and drives a Bentley.

Golf Management: In the words of Luke Terry, “if you do Golf Course Management, nothing on Earth will be able to stress you in your blissful world of sunshine and butterflies.”

Are any of these stereotypes fair? Anything you would add to this list? Leave a comment below and do let us know!