Battle of the RONS

Which RON would make the best Guild Officer?


The two weeks of the year most students dread is now upon us. It is Guild election time! The officer candidates have littered campus with their cardboard signs, banners and even a mattress (classy). We must remember that one candidate will stay silent but appear on every ballot, RON (Re-Open Nominations).

the mattress adding a bit of class to campus

Here at The Tab we are big fans of RON. Therefore, we thought we should have a RON-off to see which RON would make the Guild a better place.

 

Candidate 1: Ron ‘The Wizard’ Weasley

One of seven children this pure blood wizard, certainly has the education to be an infallible candidate.

Main Policy: Construction of a Quiddtich stadium on the Bournbrook pitches.

Pros: After being taught by some of the greatest wizarding minds ever, Weasley was integral to the defeat of Lord Voldemort at The Battle of Hogwarts.

Cons: Has a tendency to lose his temper, especially when put in difficult situations. In addition, his extreme arachnophobia could prevent him from performing his duties, if a spider is in his office he will not be going in.

Most likely to say: “Bloody hell!”

 Candidate 2: Ron ‘Anchorman’ Burgundy

Burgundy’s no holds barred approach to broadcasting makes him a favourite in San Diego but can he adopt to Birmingham’s different scene?

Main Policy: All GuildTV broadcasts are to be hosted by Ron Burgundy.

Pros: As a keen Journalist, he always seeks out the truth and maintains close relations with the team he is working with.

Cons: Often says things he will come to regret and broadcasts personal details about him and others.

Most likely to say: “You stay classy, Selly Oak!”

 

Candidate 3: Ronald ‘The Clown’ McDonald

With a super happy face and daring outfit choices, McDonald is not worried about standing out from the crowd. Is he too different for the Guild?

Main Policy: Turn the Guild into a huge McDonalds

Pros: Experience in an officer position as the ‘Chief Happiness Officer’ of the McDonalds Corporation, this should be transferrable to a role in the Guild. He can also speak 31 languages.

Cons: Is his overly happy face a little bit concerning? His appearance will scare off those who have a fear of clowns.

Most likely to say: “I’m lovin’ it!”

So who is your favourite RON?