The reality of living in Elms Village is sad and underwhelming

Elm’s Village – the 2000 strong community in the south of the city. Fitting in at Elm’s isn’t rocket science, the buildings are filled up with excitable freshers studying a variety of courses. You’ll come across everyone from the serious but trying to seem fun Medics to the quirky “I’m here for the uni experience” Social Anthropology freshers.

When applying to live in Elms, a series of questions are asked to determine people you will live with. When you arrive in Elms, you realise those questions meant nothing. You live with a complete mixture of people across nationalities, courses and interests and you probably have nothing in common but that doesn’t mean they aren’t your friends.

To create a buzz around the flat, the done thing is to throw a party and Halloween is the prime date. The flat gets decked out with cobwebs, ghosts and spiders, and it’s always a good night  – until the party is shut down.

A lot of time and effort went into these decks

At around 11.30pm the Elms security become the most anti-craic thing in Belfast, your drunken party guests will trail out the door, telling the tale of another party starting up in Ash or Rowan. This is never the case though, these after parties are always prevented by that one sleepy student in slippers complaining that their 9am lecture is really important.

Of course it sounds pathetic to have a party end at half 11, but living in Elms isn’t all bad. According to an email blast sent around last week “99 per cent of students are happy with their rooms”. Although that does beg the question of how few of us they asked to get this statistic. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with living in a breeze block cell – sorry room – but surely it wouldn’t hurt to throw a lick of paint on the walls, a cleaner carpet and anything other than brown curtains.

The prospect of a chilly house in second year sounds almost more appealing over the possibility of running away from the Elms badger as it rips it’s way through every bin bag in Sycamore.

A real life horror

The security at Elms is something to be applauded, past 11 o’clock no one gets in unless they have a fob and student card. This probably means the amount of fresher related one night stands happen in the Holylands, the safest and most wonderful area of Belfast.

This high security can go overboard, not letting unsigned guests in past 11 and making them sleep in reception or not giving students the courtesy of Domino’s delivered to their door to name a couple.

The literal barrier between halls and Domino’s delivery

The level of security, although understandable, does mean that living in Elms is less of a messy, independent first year and more of a controlled, helicopter parent affair. But the stricter rules don’t make us at Queen’s unlike other university freshers living in halls. The drunken gatherings still occur, and we still go out and get plastered. You just have to ensure you have your student card and key when returning or your heavily poisoned mind might be stuck kipping on the reception sofa.

Within the flats, everyone acts like most people who are thrown into a room with complete strangers. Milk is stolen and so much of a commotion is made that Facebook group chats are renamed “milk stealing sluts”. Beetroots are exploded and not cleaned up for months. And of course, for the posher of us, chorizo sausage is eaten and never replaced. Would we have Elms any other way? No. No we wouldn’t.