I was the victim of a Holylands robbery

The house was in an awful way, cupboard doors were left open, clothes were strewn across the bedroom floors, and the kitchen was covered in filth. Two days later the house was broken into.

It was Sunday morning, around 11am that we first came across the scene. The perpetrator smashed in the back door and appeared to have spent the night camped on the couch.

They smashed our back door in

Terence, one of the two weekend occupants informed the others of the break in via group chat. Nicholas, the other full time occupant said: “I’m not cut out for this sort of carry on. I was scared stiff as a board.”

The trespasser seemed to only target the rooms on the bottom floor. This was fortunate news as Terence was panned out in his bed upstairs dead to the world.

Aaron Murchan, a Law third year and shaken housemate said: “I was taking a shit when I found out, quick wipe and roll and I was on my way up the road with the boys. I would’ve shit myself but luckily it was all out of me.”

They left us defenceless and without chicken money

What seems to be odd is that trespasser was very selective about the items they took, enough to make a tidy wee Christmas gift.

The stolen goods featured a Playstation 3, a Lenovo laptop, a Palestinian flag, a litre bottle of Smirnoff vodka, the good bluetooth speaker and a cup of loose change – which was going towards a £21.99 chicken family bucket from Herron’s Country Fried Chicken.

Even more odd were the things they didn’t take, leaving behind the remaining flags in the house and a selection of PS3 games, amongst which was “Uncharted 2: Among Thieves”.

Is this a sign from the thief mocking the house? Or have they just played through and didn’t fancy it? I don’t know. Neither do the fellas. We were all very perturbed.

They didn’t even sign our visitor book

Always looking on the bright side, Marty Mathers, Saint Mary’s second year says: “Thank fuck my Jaeger has been left untouched.”

Always looking at the silver lining the general opinion in the house is that we’re all just lucky no one got hurt, but all a bit livid they took the guitar hero and the vodka. We were planning for a special night.

As a bunch of glass half full lads, we’ve swapped the Bluetooth YouTube sessions for a bit of a sing along. And to soften the blow, Aaron’s sister has gifted him with a framed photo of Shane Ward. Our only hope is that the perpetrator doesn’t come back to lay claim to the picture.