Chilla of the week

If scraping by with the bare minimum is the aspired way for Queen’s undergrads to live, Ryan Larkin has it down to an art form.

For Ryan, a repeating second year studying Computer Science at Queen’s University, being lazy is not just the typical university experience but his way of life.

I asked him if he has always been opposed to work. He laughed: “Eww manual labour is gross, thats why I picked Computer Science so I don’t have to move.”

And there we have the epitome of laziness, why did he chose his academic career? Because it required the least amount of movement.

I asked how he could deal with that voice in the back of his head reminding him that its deadline time as so many other people have tired to ignore. He quoted back Bill Gates: “Bill would hire a lazy person to face a difficult task because a lazy person would find the easiest way to do it, I am that lazy person. My laziness is a work of genius that should be rewarded.”

To say Ryan has a guilty conscience about his lack of work would be a definite mistake, then.

We like to have our occasional lazy days lounging in a onesie or PJs while watching a few TV shows, but for Ryan this is his everyday routine. When asked about the TV series he had watched the list was a never ending stream of shows and movies. From mainstream shows such as Breaking Bad to strange and unknown low budget  productions like Hobo With a Shotgun. He says his real accomplishment this year will not be finishing his second year in university but finding a TV series he hasn’t watched yet.

According to Ryan the battle of simply staying awake the whole day is one of the world’s greatest evils. Ryan claims if it isn’t past 2pm when you’re getting up from sleeping, no matter what time you fell asleep at, it isn’t a sleep at all.

Ryan’s laziness surpasses expectations as he simplifies even the most mundane of tasks. He boasted about creating plates out of tin foil to save the energy of washing up and money on buying paper plates.

Some of you may believe you are just as lazy because you have an affiliation with your bed. You think just because you binge on Netflix and moan about the 11am lectures that you are just as lazy. But Ryan explains that not only does he have a long term relationship with his bed but also “Brenda” his living room chair.

Beloved Brenda

He described Brenda as a safe refuge in this world of work and deadlines. Glancing at his beloved chair it shows the indent of his arms, having been supported by the armrest during Ryan’s rigorous hours of muscle strain keeping his body in a sitting position. According to Ryan: “It is a constant struggle just to stay sitting up.”

It’s impressive to behold in his aversion to any sort of activity while still managing to not only study at university but to do it effortlessly without the worry and anxiety that most face at exam time. Maybe we should start following his example.