Going back to England for Christmas: A definitive guide

It’s nearly time to go back home, let the games commence

belfast christmas cold England home qub queens student students winter

Going home for Christmas is one of the best parts of the year, but doubtless it carries some troubles, particularly if you have an ocean to cross before getting back to the bosum of your family.

Travelling

After a few journeys home you may be used the mayhem of trying to make it to International in time but some people were just born to hear the airport intercom telling them to hurry the fuck up.

You may have stayed up late the night before,organising your luggage and putting your various liquids into little plastic baggies.

But the odds of you sleeping in,missing the bus or forgetting to pre-order a taxi are pretty high. This is made all the more difficult by the frosty weather outside, convincing you that five more minutes in bed won’t make a difference.

Once you finally make it home,it’s not long before you realise you’ve forgotten something you really need. Whether it’s your laptop charger, your reading glasses or your oyster card, you can guarantee it is sitting right there on your bed, in Elms, in Belfast, taunting you…

The struggle is real

 

Weather

The air is SO DRY in Great Britain. My God, you thought it rained a lot in your hometown before you moved to Belfast,but England in general is a lot dryer than Ireland.

Double, no, triple, your moisturizer application or risk flaky elbows and chapped cheeks (on your face of course…). This sounds silly but is all too true.

You’ll be the diva asking for an air humidifier for Christmas.

Remember that your parents house is going to be a lot warmer and cosier than your student hovel. The thought of living in a place with no double glazing and a boiler from 1976 will seem like a distant memory.

Reality will soon strike in the new term when you find yourself battling through wind and rain to top up your gas card at the nearest Centra.

Treasure the warmth, while you have it.

Layers taken to the extreme

Family

Pets will break your heart. When you arrive home and your pet doesn’t go ape shit to see you,your self-esteem will crash.

What do you mean I smell different Fluffy? It’s still me, your loving owner; remember all the good times we’ve had? Well fine, you just sit and lick yourself then…

Yeah, it’s been a while since you saw the family and you thought you kinda missed those guys. Don’t worry, it will descend into petty arguments and passive aggressive comments at the dinner table soon enough.

Don’t forget the endless questions about your love life and your studies. Plus keeping up the charade of pretending you don’t get massively intoxicated at least twice a week.

Ah can you feel the love

Dollah Dollah

You might return home with wads of cash, ready to make it rain. That is until you realise that for some reason Northern Irish sterling means absolutely nothing to the majority of businesses in England.

Your best arguments are not going to convince anyone that it’s legitimate, you may as well have brought monopoly money home for all the good it’s going to do you.

So much money, nowhere to spend it

Work

You will do no work. Of course you booked hold luggage so that you could bring home all those notes and textbooks, but seriously, you will not touch them.

Save yourself the £12 and leave them behind. The best laid plans eh?

Imagine cramming these into a carry on bag

Language Barriers

Craic, in England, just means drugs. If you have adopted some Belfast slang, prepare for your friends to look at you blankly.

Using ‘But’ instead of a full stop at the end of a sentence will only get you expectant looks, and “like” doesn’t pass as punctuation.

Though it does mean you can insult friends and family without their knowledge, the melters.