Nobody cares if you’re going to the gym

The nation has gone mad with gym selfies, food porn and health statuses – It needs to stop

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People don’t seem to understand the difference between getting healthy and showing off.

The gym selfie 

This is a concept that I really can’t understand. You’re on your way to the gym, and your first thought is to take a wee selfie of you in your working out clothes?

This just leads me to believe that your health is obviously not your first priority and you’re fishing for likes.

Nobody cares if you’ve purchased new florescent trainers and a florescent top to match. You just look like a complete twat!

 

The craze of the Nike airs 

Can anyone explain the reason behind these florescent shoes? Do they have magical powers that make you run faster or help you lose weight quicker?

Do they have to be florescent Nike air shoes, or can I wear my florescent leg warmers from when DJ Sammy was the big thing?

I have only one thing to say to people who believe these shoes are going to give them some magical motivation; they won’t!

Stop spending ridiculous amounts of money on a pair of shoes, simply to post them online and wear them twice after that.

 

‘Food Porn’

I think it’s reasonable enough to say that when I hear the words ‘food porn’ I automatically think of cake. Lots and lots of cake.

Not steamed asparagus.

I honestly believe that these newly reformed health freaks are trying to convince themselves, more than us, that the tasteless vegetable on their plate is really really appetising.

Even if I was dieting or whatever, I would still much rather see a massive feed from a Chinese or chippy, over a plate of steamed tastelessness.

It may seem like I’m being bitter towards those who are trying to get healthy and fit, but I’m really not.

A little bit different to my kind of food porn…

 

I just want the show offs to know that nobody cares, and when I say nobody, I mean NOBODY!

I also don’t want to see an inspirational quote telling me how your life is now the gym, and you are a totally reformed character who has something to give back to society. No you don’t. You’re still the same person, maybe just a bit leaner.

Now go away and leave us fatties alone!