A guide to finding Prince Charming in Belfast

So the sun is out (sporadically) and the final stages of the academic year are nearly upon us, so naturally we turn to our trusty friend: procrastination. So instead of studying for your finals, you can read this guide to finding your very own companion, a Belfast “Prince Charming” instead.

Being a non-native and migrating here from the sunny prospect of Wales, I was new to the mating rituals of the native populace. It came as an endless source of fascination how the males of the university student body would culminate in distinct groups. These groups frequent particular watering holes and clubs in order to give off their over aftershaved (or not so) scent, to attract an unsuspecting female.

So for the lovely lady persuing this article I have decided to give an all access, guided tour of Belfast’s clubs and pubs, where if you so choose, you could find your ideal mate, just in time for Summer.

Impressed face

So ladies, we begin with the fabulously yet perhaps the ever so slightly pretentious El Divino. It’s a common site for all those who love to dress up, wear painful heels and climb three flights of stairs in order to find their Mr Right and wedge themselves at the bar to order a vodka and redbull.

Here one will find the crisp shirt and slick shoe brigade; a posse made up of particularly what my friends and I like to originally term as “the rugby boys”. If you like to spend your time among a throng of overpowering testosterone fuelled, egotistic bulging muscles this is the ideal crowd for you. Constancy is not their bag though, so forewarned is forearmed, they’re not just players on the rugby pitch.

You may also find here the guys who think they are just too cool for school, clad in similar attire, doing courses like Architecture, Medicine and Finance. Perhaps feeling blessed with superior academic prowess they also feel well-endowed elsewhere. Eau de self-absorbed fills the air and as such I would recommend to you all – El Divino is no place for the long time love, more short term ménage a deux. However, if you can score with someone in the VIP section, make the most of that free champagne. Kudos to you.

Pimpin’ yo!

We all know university is a fun-filled three or four years of exploration and excitement with the opposite or same sex, but it is undoubtedly true (and I’m sure many of you would agree) it’s much more of a bitchin’ time than one would have previously thought, no matter how many times it happens. That one night stand always makes you feel like shit no matter how much you thought you were up for it last night, the romantic haze of booze and techno dance tunes bubble is now burst.

Moving away from the river, towards the inner city the well versed girl about town will know you come across the vibrant if eclectic site of Limelight. There is a distinct sense of culture clash, a social milieu of indie, hipster and mainstream mixed with circus performers is an interesting vibe. Whether you like the rocky boy with his enticingly stroke-able beard and his James Dean attitude or the mainstream, well put together guy who loses his shit to Martin Garrix whilst involuntarily smacking you about the head, you will find your man here.

Uptown, away from the city centre, there’s the historical site of Lavery’s. This is a common watering ground for all types of guy, you could say it’s a great place for saying the phrase “two birds, one stone”. The high drinking prices mean it’s advisable before your hunt begins to stock up on the predrinks.

The best night for persuing this crowd is Saturday night – all floors are open which means there are plenty of types to try. Most commonly, however, you will find the older guys here, by which I mean the fifth year Medical students, who can be still as obnoxious as they were in first, second and third year so beware.

However, you will also find graduates, post graduates and even tutors. You will even find normal guys, like professionals and old men,  who will press up behind you at the bar whilst trying to make small talk. True love is to be found in abundance at Lavery’s!

Like Limelight you will definitely find your hipsters, and rocky boys. Best place to find those alternative peeps is outside in the smoking area. Now I’m not gonna lie, finding your Prince Charming in the bitter cold nights Belfast has to offer is by no means any kind of romantic fantasy. Get as close to those outdoor heaters as possible and lure them in with those ‘”sultry” glances. You know where you think you look like you’re playing Scarlett Johannson in a romcom but really look like the girl out of The Ring, peering menacingly through your hair. This look only works if they can pull themselves away from their mates and damp rollies.

Finally, we come to the piece de resistance of male archetypes, The GAA man! You will find these guys make up most of the population of The Fly or what is most commonly known as Scratch. As you know you apparently “can’t beat a good GAA man” or so I’ve been told. Now I’m not judging but there is nothing more off putting than a brown shoe, and these guys really know how to rock the high sheen polished brogue. I have been well informed this is a symbol of a country man and the plaid shirts and carousing, boisterous attitude just confirm these assumptions.

If you’re looking for a bold man who’ll stick his neck in where it’s not welcome then this is the place to find him. He won’t wait for further introduction, those GAA impulses and brown shoes will have you whisked off to the Holylands in no time.