How to make it through class with a hangover

If you’re not living in your bathroom or having your stomach pumped, here are The Tab’s top tips to making it in to that all important tutorial whilst hanging like a bat.

1. Tumbleoutta bed and stumble to the kitchen pour yourself a cup of ambition:

Coffee. Tea. Coca-cola. Pepsi. Whatever it is that gets you going – drink it until you can feel the life slowly re-entering those bloodshot eyes.

Is there anything tea can’t fix?

2. Make Yourself Look Beautiful:

Ha. If you have the energy to find your hairbrush, I salute you!

I’m fiiiiine…

3. Pack Supplies:

Until you’re free to rush home and melt in bed, water is your best friend. Drink plenty unless you want to feel like a jellyfish for the rest of the day.

Should be enough?

4. Confront The Long Walk To Class:

Let’s face it, on such days any amount of walking is too much. If your addled brain can manage to put one foot in front of the other, you’re winning.

Just one more step

5. Apologise For Your Lateness (That Has Nothing To Do With Your Going Out Last Night):

An inevitable feature of the hangover is that it makes you slower at everything including moving. Best to work out an excuse that doesn’t involve the words “Limelight”,”Box” or “El D”.

Too much yeolo swag had by all

6. Feign Interest:

Now is not the time to worry about those contribution marks. It’s a minor miracle you showed up, if they want anything else they can look elsewhere. Most effective poses for such classes include; the ‘I’m going to hunch over my notebook with a pen in my hand so that it looks like I’m working whilst I sleep’ and the ‘I’m concentrating so hard I must shut my eyes’.

Precision note taking.

7. Run Home And Collapse In Bed:

Bread. Pyjamas. Bed. Oh sweet mother that feels good…