Inevitable endings to St Patrick’s Day

We’ve already provided you with a step-by-step guide to Monday’s celebrations, now it’s time to realize where you’ll end up after a day of debauchery.

Holylands st paddys swall the bot work

Holylands House party

This, for obvious reasons, is the optimum choice for where your Paddy’s Day celebrations end up. Follow the crowds heading from The Hatfield and you won’t be disappointed – on St Paddy’s the Holylands takes on a sort of “promised-land for students” status . Sofas are carted out into the streets, music is blasted through every open window, and a culchie boy in a GAA shirt clutching a bottle of Buckfast is never far away.  If you end your Paddy’s Day at a party in the Holylands, you’ve done yourself proud.

Shamrock head-gear must stay on through madness

Blocked in The Bot

Ah The Botanic Inn,a spot so popular on Paddy’s Day that once you squeeze inside, you could find it difficult to leave. Not just because you love “rock the boat” or pretending you’re part of Riverdance. It could be a simple as you’ve  found yourself wedged in between groups of bodies and literally can’t get out of the place until closing. A piece of cautionary advice: stick together, if you separate from your friends it is likely you’ll be scooped up and forced to jig to “Tell Me Ma”.

Let the games begin

Wankered in work

If you’re one of those unlucky people who haven’t been quick enough to book March 17th off work, my heart bleeds for you. However, just because your shift starts at 6.30pm doesn’t mean you can’t have a few drinks. Show up with a shamrock painted on your cheek, vomit on your uniform and a kebab in your arms. If your boss says anything just claim you were just carrying out a proud national tradition. Guarantee you won’t be asked to work next year…or possibly ever again.

Steamin’ in the streets

When you’ve finally been kicked out of the pub there is every chance you will end up wandering the streets of Belfast, singing and trying to remember why your “kiss me I’m Irish” t-shirt is inside-out. This is when you have to decide whether to cut your losses and head home or continue hopelessly searching for somewhere you can get a pint of Guinness and a shoulder to cry on.

And remember, don’t actually swall in the streets while you try to find your way back home – haven’t you read the scary university emails?

At this point your only friend comes in a bottle

Hammered at home

Oh no. There is little worse feeling than waking up and remembering that you came home completely pissed at 3 in the afternoon and tried to convince your displeased housemates to begin a trad music session. That is, before you boked Jameson everywhere and they had to put you to bed with a bucket. It’s going to be an awkward breakfast tomorrow.

The night before the morning after

In bed (sober)

Some people give the swall-fest of St Paddy’s a miss and instead opt for a more wholesome approach. You may have spent the day catching up on your studies or finally finished Breaking Bad.

Hey, good for you, you might not have a hangover but you’re officially shite craic.