It’s gon’ get cold!

Brace yourself, Winter cometh.

cold news weather

We’ve been enjoying a reasonably mild climate so far this semester. Students have been able to live the high-life of what Belfast can only assume is a milder climate anyway, avoiding dreaded fresher flus, wearing leggings and tank tops to lectures (I was bunked in the queue for the printer at McClay last week by a guy wearing flip-flops but that’s just excessive).

In my case, the if not warm, then slightly less freezing weather meant that we could live off the dregs of whatever the last tenants left in our oil tank and throw caution to the wind by not paying energy bills. Not so now, because a cold snap is coming, and you should be very afraid.

This week, Belfast is forecasted snow and hail, as well as the approach of freezing cold temperatures and the dreaded frost. Time to swap the flip-flops for some more sensible footwear, because you will fall on your arse on your way to lectures.

To be fair, and in the interest of honest and not sensationalist journalism – although c’mon, everyone fears the weather, especially if inside your grotty student house is colder than it actually is outside – we should note we’re not actually the worst off. If you live in Aviemore, you’d already be experiencing frostbite at -4°C. We can also feel bitterly jealous of those in the Isles of Scilly and London, who are currently still living it up in double figures at 12 and 10°C respectively. Lucky bastards.

So whilst Belfast’s weather is unpredictable and erratic, in the interest of public health and safety, here’s a few hints and tips to surviving the forecasted oncoming cold-snap:

 

Some kind folks in the union this week will be trying to help keep you warm, but our tips are better

 

  1. It’s already been covered but wear sensible clothes. Especially to the library. Nobody cares that you’re in surf shorts and a GAA top when there’s icicles falling off your nose – you just look like a twat.
  2. Invest in a portable radiator. Take it from room to room with you to annoy your housemates and simultaneously spend a fortune on electric. (The SU shop has been advertising these for sale all week and I have been sorely, sorely tempted)
  3. Conserve body heat. Move in a huddle with your housemates, like you’re living in some freezing horror film and you don’t want to be the first to die. If you want to go the whole hog share a bed! (I have yet to convince my housemates the merits of this strategy without sounding a bit like a serial killer)

    Sit as close as humanly possible to your housemate and share a huge blanket to narrowly escape frostbite.

  4. LAYERS. Layers are brilliant. So you might have to spend twenty minutes more than usual taking off your extra three coats and pissing off everyone else in your lecture – you’re warm,  that’s all that matters in these dangerous times
  5. Get drunk. Drink at home and you can still keep on top on uni work while you drink. It’ll keep you warm, or at least you won’t actually feel the cold. Or see very well.

 

Layers taken to the extreme

 

And if all else fails and you want to survive the cold, buy heating. But honestly, even if Frank Mitchell gave you that advice you’d be reluctant to follow it.