The great dishes debate

The sting of summer ending is no doubt soothed for some by the exciting prospect of moving in to a house with some of your friends. The parties and the total lack of parental supervision mean that a student house can bring the best of times for housemates. It also goes without saying that a student house can be a fantastic resource for stingy friends who enjoy the benefits of pre-drinks and after parties without the responsibility of cleaning up the next day.

Kitchen floor mess, week 1

The harsh reality of being a student means that the jobs that previously taken care of by a patient parent are now your responsibility. When the fun and games of the first month of independence has worn away the rose-tinted glasses are cruelly ripped off, revealing a pile of dishes the size of Mt Kilimanjaro and a stench drifting from the toilet region which suggests someone has been enjoying a few too many kebabs.

Unclaimed underwear from the kitchen floor later in the term

The houses which are unfortunate enough not to contain the “sensible” housemate (you know the type- rarely go out, always the designated driver, leaves the students union at 12am because they’re “tired”) are then left in a sticky situation.

A sort of Hunger-Games type scenario descends as it becomes a survival of the grossest; who can withstand the filth the longest without giving in and picking up some Vanish; thereby earning themselves the title of surrogate-parent.

The result of neglecting a dirty teapot. Contents unknown

Different houses have different ways of dealing with the problem of cleaning. In speaking to some of my friends who have moved out and found themselves drowning in a sea of dirty clothes and spilled vodka certain points have emerged which could help those struggling with domestic duties.

Domestic goddess at work

1)    DO NOT use Post-its. They’re just not a good idea, if you leave a passive-aggressive note asking people to please “leave the microwave as they found it” you’re asking for trouble. Don’t be that guy, just talk instead of hiding behind coloured bits of paper.

2)    Kitchen Roll, tinfoil, baby wipes and cling film can be your best friends in mess-prevention. Use them.

3)    If you use something then clean it afterwards- pretty simple. Soap and water people, soap and water.

4)    Invest in a hefty bottle of Febreze. If all else fails this magic spray can cover up all manner of stink. Forsake the environment in an attempt to pretend you have a clean house.

Suzanne proves that a pack of baby wipes is as good as any mop

Of course, the other option is to just carry on, let dirt and debris pile up without a care; though don’t be surprised when people begin to avoid your house like the plague. Nobody wants to party with a bunch of stinkers. Unless you provide free alcohol, then all standards fly right out the window along with everyone’s basic sense of hygiene.