This fresher is Bath’s human Barbie

Not just a pretty face

You’ve probably seen Amy on campus, if you haven’t, you’ve definitely heard of her. She was arguably one of the stories of freshers week. There can be little doubt that her aesthetics are, appealing, but is there more to her than the Barbie image?

I went to meet her over a G&T and a pint atop the Hall and Woodhouse (the round cost £10.75) to see what Bath’s latest Oxford import had to say for herself.

AM: Hi Amy, first things, how are you finding Bath, the Uni and the City?

Amy: Yeah, I really like it, I’m having a lot of fun!

Why did you choose Bath? Don’t you find it a bit small?

It is small, but it feels big. Besides I like smaller places, I’m from Oxford so I’m used to it. They’ve even got a Second Bridge there!

So, you’re saying you enjoy the big fish, small pond environment?

NO! But I don’t want to go somewhere like Newcastle or Manchester, it’s too big, Bath is the right size.

Okay, so you’re a fish in a medium sized lake, a koi carp if you will.

If I asked you to describe yourself in  three words?

Well you’ve put me on the spot now. Probably, small, blonde and sarcastic

And how about you Alex and Luci (Amy’s chaperones), give me three words for Amy

Loyal, hilarious, and a serious heavyweight when it comes to drinking. For someone of her size she has an unreal appetite for the good stuff.

We’ve heard rumours about your freshers exploits, but just how was it for you?

I loved it, we had some REALLY good outfits! I love dressing up so I really got into it. For some reason though It only seemed to be me who really showed passion for the theme. I cut my Westwood top up as I thought everyone else would but it turns out I was the only one really showing my colours.

Ah yes, that picture. I’d probably say it was this outfit that really announced your arrival. But you say you were merely enthusiastic, and more people should follow suit?

Yea, maybe, I was just trying to spice it up?

Is dressing up something you’re up for in other aspects of your life?

For sure, I love dressing up. My favourite outfit is my little pink skirt with a white vest.

Hmm, not really the black spandex I was hoping for.

So, you obviously care about how you look. Looking at you now, do you think people underestimate you when they meet you? You’re obviously an intelligent girl to be here at all, but does it bother you that some people just see you as a real life Barbie?

I’m sure people do, in fact I know they do. I’m aware of how I’m perceived, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I work bloody hard and if people want to think that they can, I think it’s hilarious. I’m aiming to go into the City to trade bonds, so what if I get up early to fake-tan before my lectures, it’s just my personality, I don’t need other people to know I can accomplish anything.

You say you’re not too fussed about how you’re perceived, so I’d be interested to hear how you felt when a ‘lads mag’ publication published a particularly tasteful piece a few years ago. I believe the title was ‘Top 10 UK Jailbait’. Starring yourself, aged 15. Thoughts?

I knew that was coming. Viral sensation no?  Yeah I was quite young. I thought it was really funny unlike my parents, who weren’t pleased. I was only 15 at the time so I can get why they might have been a bit upset. Yeah, I don’t regret that happening. I just took some random posed bikini shots when I was in Tenerife on holiday and somehow they landed there. It could have been worse, right?

While we’re on this subject, rumours have been flying around about yourself and the rugby team, and dare I say it, five guys in one night? Now I’m sure you’d never do such a thing, but here’s your chance to clear it up once and for all?

OH MY GOD, five guys? That’s ridiculous. It’s a complete lie, I would never do something like that. It’s true I know some of the fresher rugby boys but no, I didn’t reach double digits in freshers week despite what’s been said. I only went home with one guy all week!

I may as well ask, and I’m not gonna sugar coat it. Did you have sex in a portaloo during freshers week?

What, I am terrified of portaloos!! Seriously, I hate them, I’m always scared they’re going to tip on me or I’d get locked in one. If I have to use one I never lock the door, I’d rather run the risk of having someone disturb me. Having sex in one of them would be a nightmare even if I didn’t hate them, but no I did not have sex in a portaloo.

Well, glad that’s sorted, we should probably take some pictures at some stage fyi.

You cant take pictures of me talking because you can’t see me with my mouth open, can we take it on my friends phone so that we can have control of it?  I really don’t want an action shot with my mouth open, it just never ends well. Whenever I see a bad pic I have to call my mum and cry about it, I also usually call my ex, then he tells me I look dreadful which doesn’t help.

I actually don’t even know how to respond to that. How about I’ll ask you some cliché questions and we’ll tie it up?

Personal Idol?

Kardashians or Victoria Beckham, these people have built massive empires despite being largely dismissed as talentless. I look up to people who are very intelligent, without necessarily looking like they are. Subtle Intelligence.

Ideal first date?

Chilled drinks, nothing awkward or “different”. If you take me shooting or fly fishing that’s a sign this isn’t going to work. I like watching sport though, especially rugby, not that I really understand the game.


You’re watching telly, whats on?
Keeping up with the Kardashians, Bachelorette, maybe Made in Chelsea
Not a Panorama fan then? Newsnight not your thing?
I prefer to live in ignorance of reality, I don’t need to worry about stuff like that.
Greatest Fear?
A burglar coming in my window in my halls, I was frightened that they would come and steal my stuff, I don’t think about myself. My single biggest fear is having my make up bag stolen. I made maintenance come and fix my window I was so paranoid.

Greatest living person? People, not person. My family, straight up.

Thats sweet, lets finish with some quick-fire questions?

Tea or Coffee – Coffee

Hot or Cold – Hot

Face or Body – Body

Night or day – Night

Sunshine or Rain – Sunshine

Vodka or Tequila – Vodka

Romance or Lust – Lust

Football or Rugby – Rugby

Cats or Dogs – Dogs

Salt or Sugar  – Salt

On top or on the bottom -On top

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