We rate ourselves third in the country for being idiots with money
We also think we’re happier than our rivals
We all have a little splurge on loan day, but startling new statistics show we rate ourselves appallingly when it comes to handling money.
The Alternative University League Table revealed we came third in the UK for flashing the cash. Does being in the second largest city burn too much of a hole in our pocket?
Our enemies over at BCU came 89th, so clearly they’re spending all their time studying for their GCSEs and not spending any money.
But if you’re on the search for Mr Tall, Dark & Handsome or the future Miss England, you’d better avoid them, as they ranked themselves the second ugliest university.
The league table also revealed we think we’re the 52nd happiest students, beating both UoB and BCU.
However, we don’t see a future as a comedian or the next genius for ourselves.
Aston ranked 98th in most intelligent students and 123rd for funniest students – which isn’t a laughing matter as BCU came 82nd.
Apparently 25 per cent of us Astoners have thought about setting a fire alarm off, so be prepared for the undesirable ringing and flashing red light in the early hours of the morning.
We might have had a better chance of avoiding this inconvenience if we had chosen BCU, where only 22 per cent have thought about causing this sort of chaos.
George setting off the fire alarm in every flat at our uni because he wanted cheese on toast #controversial
— Paul Watson (@paulwatsonn) March 13, 2015
James Felton, from Student Money Saver who compiled the rankings, told The Tab: “Conventional university league tables give a great indication of the academic side of universities, but what they don’t tell you is what your life is going to be like, and who you’ll be spending your years of university with.
“People at Oxford are smart, but are they happy? Are students at Cambridge nice human beings, or the kind of people who set fire alarms off in halls at 3am just before major exams?
“There isn’t really this kind of data anywhere, so we decided to collect it, to give students a brief (and unconventional) look at the types of people they should expect to meet at the UK’s top universities, and to seek out where the nicest, happiest and most disgusting people in the UK choose to go to university.”