All the things I can’t believe I’ve heard students say in Aberystwyth

‘Don’t worry I can handle Aber drinking’ – visitor who can’t handle Aber drinking


There’s no two ways about it, Aberystwyth is an odd town, and the people who live here say some really weird things. In my years here, these are the worst things I’ve heard students say.

“I won’t get a taxi I’ll walk up the hill” (after a night out)

GOD HONEY NO.

Freshers make this mistake once and once only. You expect a tribe of drunken thrifty students but the hill has never looked more daunting through beer goggles with no one else walking with you. If you haven’t made this bad decision you now know not to!

It's twice as long when drunk

It’s twice as long when drunk

“I’m leaving the house but I won’t need a coat I’ll be fine”

If you’re moving to uni in Wales then you need a raincoat. Fact. Arriving to your lectures like a drowned rat is never a good look, you never want to be that student squelching in the corner in a puddle of rainwater and misery.

it's fine fam

it’s fine fam

“Let’s feed the seagulls it’ll be fun”

We are a welsh seaside town with hungry takeaway consuming student population so there are going to be seagulls and they are vicious are predators. If you’ve ever emptied crumbs in Trafalgar Square and seen the swarm of pigeons then imagine that … but seagulls … and ALWAYS angry. Seagulls will try and consume anything whether it is a small dog or your lunch still in your hands.

savage beasts

Savage beasts

“I know exactly how to play Korfball” 

Secret – no one knows. Not even the team. Is it a sport? Is it a hobby? Do they even use a ball? Is it an outdoor sport? No one has a clue. Not a single clue.

“Brynderw isnt that bad”

If you’ve been in Aber a while then you’ll know the hovel that is Brynderw. The wire frame beds. The silver fish. The damp. The horror.

“My timetable says I’m at Llanbadarn, good job it’s just a short walk from campus!”

It’s a campus? Where? There’s apparently a library and a bus stop there but everything else remains a mystery.

He just discovered he's got a 9am up Llanbadarn

He just discovered he’s got a 9am up Llanbadarn

“I’m just off to buy a few essentials from Morrisons”

Lidl exists in town because it is convenient and cheap. The trek to Morrisons is one that should never be made alone. Possible causes of death – starvation, exhaustion and bankruptcy.

“Is it just me or can you guys smell weed?”

Yes. Always. Particularly along South Road aka Weed Street. There is a certain stigma attached to students and how they drown their problems in Vodka and The Green Stuff and sometimes you can’t deny your senses and agree.

L'eau de south road

L’eau de south road

“Don’t worry I can handle Aber drinking”

Drinking in Aberystwyth is a kind of experience your liver has never prepared itself for, Vodka Tuesday’s in particular. You can hear your liver weep in despair as you spot the 60p shots and £1 Jaegerbombs, you’ll pay the price with your hangover the next day but not through your wallet. Aber is so cheap that a bar crawl prior to a night out is inevitable.

Can't handle the aber pace

Can’t handle the aber pace

“I’m not going to A&E this year”

Don’t be silly and naive. If it’s not you then it’ll be your housemate. If it is neither that needs to go to A&E then it’s probably the girl you befriended in the bathrooms two pubs ago and as it’s Aber everyone knows everyone so you’ll have some sort of mutual connection. Share the love. Look after each other.

“You should get a Deathstar, you won’t need anything else all night!”

You’ve gotta be a first year. The only reason people think Deathstars are strong is because they’ve predrunk heavily, and the predrinks only really kick in after the first pint. It’s nearly a tenner for two pints of mostly snakebite.

Just get a pint mate

Just get a pint mate

“You don’t want to go into the Black Lion/Angel if you’re not Welsh. You’ll get thrown out!”

I kinda get this about the Black Lion, but even then if you’re not being a dickhead (or wearing England colours after a rugby match) you’ll be fine. But the Angel? The Angel might look a bit rough to the untrained eye, but it’s actually one of the best nights out in Aberystwyth.