Living with Dermatillomania: I can’t stop biting around my nails

I suffer from skin pulling madness and I cannot believe I am the only one with this problem.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always chewed my cheeks, bit the skin around my nails and don’t even get me started on family members’ peeling sunburn. Call me gross, whatever, this impulse to pick has frustrated me for so long so I feel like it’s finally time to tell someone (even if it is the internet) because I’m getting worried that I’m the only one who will obsessively chew or pick or bite until they’re sore or bleed … and it’s so satisfying.

My best friend

So. Picking. You surely ask yourself why anybody would do it. The NHS website describes Dermatillomania as “an impulse-control disorder – a psychological condition where the person is unable to stop themselves carrying out a particular action”.

Trichotillomania is a more commonly known condition where sufferers feel the impulse to pluck hair, sometimes individually, sometimes in chunks, and sometimes subconsciously. Trichotillomania literally translates as hair pulling madness, so I guess Dermatillomania makes sense being translated as “skin pulling madness”. And that’s exactly what I am accused of if and when I’ve ever felt the need to explain myself – madness.

I haven’t had a troubled childhood, scaly skin or any kind of trauma involving having my skin removed. I’m not a fan of The Human Centipede, I’m not taking the impulse of removing skin to a creepy way (shudders). But it’s not just skin, I have found myself sitting in the cinema or a bus stop and removing loose hairs of the jacket of someone standing in front of me. Nail varnish is the next best thing that doesn’t end up hurting, I can last about 4 hours before I start picking at the edges.

I know most girls will say they love to pluck their boyfriend’s eyebrows, and I will, but apparently it’s not okay to do whilst he’s driving. (But natural light is the best light to see the stray hairs!) I’d like to say it’s just a ‘harmless addiction’, but when has any addiction been harmless. I find myself now having to carry around a pair of tweezers just to soothe my impulse to pull or pick when I’m out of the house.

All things considered, I just hope I am not the only one out there with this problem. Somehow my friends and family put up with me constantly analysing their faces, looking for dead skin and stray hairs which puts my mind at ease a bit. Please don’t say I’m the only student who deals with their mountain of debt by following the impulse of removing the things that irritate them.