Everything that will ever happen on your way home from Yoko’s

Only in Aber


You’re going out with your sports team, or just to clear your head after a day in the library. Inevitably, you end up in Yoko’s. Standard night out in Aber.

Although you loved your night, you’re dreading the walk home. Here’s what typically happens on your way back from the party.

1. You left Yoko’s but are so not ready to go home.
2. You lost your friends. You see this course mate of yours leaning against the wall. Your slightly awkward guy you know from your seminar starts talking about his emotional problems.
3. Worst. Decision. Ever. Now you’re stuck with this crying melt who can’t get over a break-up that happened months ago. You’re too drunk for this.
4. You feel sick and end up chundering all over the bin and the massive clock outside Yoko’s. Don’t worry, you won’t be the only one.

 5. You finally manage to get yourself together, and decide it’s time to get some food.
6. Which one is the way home? You are too wasted and not sure which way to go. You bump into your friends. One of them is worse off than you.
7. You end up carrying them as well.
8. You make your way down to the seafront. Some guys in togas start a fight. Classy.
9. Dyfed-Powys Police show up. You’re wondering if you will ever understand Welsh. Probably not.
10. It’s 4 am: you’re drunk, hungry, and tired. You need food, and  you realise that there is a tough decision to be made. You ask yourself: “Marco’s or Hollywood?”
11. The answer is Marco’s, it’s always Marco’s.

Of course he’s got Marko’s

12. For a second you think: “Maybe I could go and say hi to Mr. Chicken Lip Lickin’, I might get a chicken box for free!” It never happens, and there’s a good reason for it. Remember that burger in first year that you regret eating the second you left Lip Lickin’?
13. You have to wait in Marco’s way too long and sober up.
14. Your ex walks in. You hate Aber for being the smallest town in rural bloody Wales.
15. Marco’s Kebabs are the best and your mood brightens up. It’s time to head home.
16. The walk home is never lonely. You decide to join the guys playing Christmas songs on guitar on the street for a bit.
17. The tough part begins. If you don’t have to take Great Darkgate street to go home you’ll have to fight for your life against the windy seafront. You’re lucky if it’s not raining. Oh wait, it’s starting to drizzle.

18. You can’t feel your legs anymore. It’s cold and late. The best desicion would be to get a taxi. But is not that easy. Where is Conrad’s Cabs when you need him?
19. You spent those last pounds on VKs in Yokos on this girl in a tiny black skirt. It certainly wasn’t worth it. You might as well walk home.
20. If you are one of those unlucky bastards that live in uni accommodation, the hill is waiting for you, looking longer and harder than ever.
22. While walking up the hill back home you regret not taking a taxi. Not having money. Going out in the first place. You miss your bed.
23. It’s 4.30am and you just about make it home, soaked and sodden and already starting to feel the hangover. You pass out, and are ready to do the whole thing again tomorrow.